As I got ready to open the door, I felt all the tingly jolts throughout my body that I used to get whenever I was near Luke. After all these years, that boy still made me tingle, and that pissed me right off. I didn’t have time for tingles, shivers, or swoony behavior of any kind. I quietly slunk back to the cash register that was now manned by Finn. Nick was busy helping Rose make the coffee.

“Hey, Aunt Lily. We got it. Take a break and finish your coffee,” he said and handed me a bag full of scones. I loved this kid. Our mutual love of Violet’s scones was only one of the reasons why.

I needed to get my fearless mojo back. I tried to think of all the girl power songs I had on my playlist. Help me, Pink! Help me, Katy Perry! But all I could hear was “Photograph,” the shitty Nickelback song we’d danced to at prom.

My feet were walking toward Luke’s table, but my mind was taking a walk back through years of memories—the fond ones this time, not the bad ones. Luke noticed me heading his way, he stood up and pulled a chair out for me. He sat across from me, then we just stared at each other. I could tell our thoughts were similar. He had a wistful, sad expression on his face as he gazed at me.

“I don’t know where to start,” he finally said.

“You don’t have to get into anything heavy if you don’t want to, Luke. I pretty much know what happened,” I blurted. I didn’t want to push him into telling me anything that would cause him pain. I had already accepted that he hadn’t tried to hurt me by leaving, even though it was the most excruciating thing I had ever experienced in my life, up until Will died. I don’t think you ever fully recover from your first heartbreak. You will never have the same open ability to trust again.

“You do?” He looked at me doubtfully.

“You have PTSD. I know there has to be more, but that’s the nutshell version, right?”

He took a sip of his coffee with a thoughtful expression. “It is the nutshell version. I feel like I have more to tell you though. I have missed you so much. If I had known you were pregnant, I never would have stayed away. I hope you know that, Lily.”

Wow, that hurt. I unconsciously rubbed my chest, over my heart. I alone hadn’t been enough to make him stay?