“No, why would you say that?” Who was I trying to kid? I couldn’t play this off. These people knew me too well, damn it. “Okay, yes, he’s here. Don’t ask me what I’m doing. I don’t even know. I am perplexed and you know I don’t like being perplexed. I can’t handle this, Violet. He was looking at me like he was on a mission or something. I am not mission material right now. I just had a baby. Women who have just had a baby can’t be mission objectives,” I rambled. I couldn’t stop talking, or thinking, or saying what I was thinking.

Make it stop.

“Make it stop, Vi,” I pleaded.

“Take a breath, Lily. You’re going to stroke out or something. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. But you are coming off kind of crazy right now. You know that, right?” Violet soothed, then shoved the future muffins into the oven and set the timer.

“I don’t know why I’m freaking out. I texted with him on the phone last night. I knew I would see him today. I tried to mentally prepare for it. I shouldn’t be reacting this way. It makes no sense.”

“It makes sense,” Violet countered in a sensible voice. Now was not the time to be sensible. Now was the time to feed me chocolate and pat my head, dammit.

“Does not,” I argued.

“Are we doing this?” she said exasperatedly. “All the reasons why he was on our shit lists are invalidated. Explanations have been given. All the explanations have been accepted and are reasonable. Anger is no longer warranted. Therefore, feelings that were buried under years of anger and hurt have resurfaced to mess with your head. Plus, he is absolutely smoking hot now. I mean, he was cute before, but damn, that boy is sex on a stick. That hair, those huge arms, those shoulders, that fine ass, not to mention those tattoos.” Her eyes glazed over, then her head jerked, and she refocused on me. “I could go on, but I see that you get me, so I’ll go ahead and stop.”

“Maybe I’ll go back out there. I did say I would talk with him today. He wants to give me all the validated reasons himself.” I stood up and headed to the kitchen door.

“Good idea. Acting like a grown-up is always the way to go,” she said. I stuck my tongue out at her in response.