He hugged me tight against him and guided me out of the room. Tears filled my eyes as I held on to my dad and let him lead me outside. I couldn’t look at the destruction. It was ugly. It was chaos. I felt it sink into me; it felt like that’s what my life had become, a hideous chaotic mess. Someone was trying to hurt me, maybe even my family and my kids and I had no control. I shut my eyes against the rising panic and followed Dad outside. Luke didn’t need to see me freak out, so I beat it back and walked straight into his arms.

“You’re not taking anything?” he asked. I saw Dad shake his head at Luke.

“No, I…maybe tomorrow I can do it. Right now, I don’t want to touch any of it.” I felt his chin move against the top of my head as he nodded. “I’ll ride home with my dad, so you don’t have to drive all the way out to the house. Will I see you tomorrow?” I pulled my face out of his chest and looked up at him as I asked.

“I’ll come by first thing in the morning.” He kissed me and brushed my hair back over my shoulder. “Call me if you need me, I mean it.” He looked at Dad. “Make her call me if she needs me.”

Dad grinned and nodded. “Will do, Luke. See you in the morning. Bring Rocky. The kids are missing him.”

Luke lifted his chin, kissed me one more time, then went to his truck and took off.

I hugged Cade and thanked him, then climbed into Dad’s SUV. It was a quiet drive home. I let the dark night outside consume me as I stared out the window. It matched how I felt inside.

18

Lily

Mom got up from the couch and rushed over to me the second I crossed through the front door. It felt good to be engulfed by her, like when I was a child. Bumps, bruises, and hurt feelings could always be soothed by my mother. I doubted that this situation could though.

I hugged her back as she offered me some hot chocolate and banana bread. I was always willing to be distracted by sweets, so it was easy to say yes and follow her into the kitchen. Ash was sitting at a stool at the center island, sipping his own mug of hot chocolate. I saw the bottle of Bailey’s next to his plate and smiled. Even better. Then I frowned when I remembered I couldn’t drink it. I’d already had alcohol tonight and would be pumping and dumping soon.

“Are you okay, Lily?” Ash asked as I sat next to him on a stool.

I nodded as Mom passed me a slice of banana bread and the Keurig bubbled and brewed out the hot chocolate.