That rape remains in the background, though in a form which is desired by the female, is made clear when we consider the following situation. Let us suppose that we have a man and a woman who know one another, respect one another, care for one another and are involved romantically. Let us then suppose that one evening they are having supper in her apartment. She wears an evening gown, he a suit. It is an excellent supper. There has been gentle conversation. There is candlelight. Toward the end of the supper, she looks at the man. She does not touch him. “Rape me,” she says. They would have a fantastic sexual experience. It would be quite different if she had said, “Make love to me.” She is carried to the bedroom, stripped, thrown to the bed and used with a tender but uncompromising aggressiveness, patient and detailed, which leaves no doubt in her mind but what she is the object, dominated and commanded, of an incredible sexual desire. There are many ways to make love. All that is essential here is to recognize that this would be an unusually exciting experience for both partners. That it would be as exciting, or more exciting, than a love episode conducted in a more usual manner is of great importance. It says something about the rape fantasies of both partners. If the partners did not know one another or did not care for one another, presumably the experience would not be the delightful realization of a rape fantasy, but would have been merely a rape, and rapes, as we have suggested, are wastes of time. In this episode, however, the woman has invited the male, a startling, flattering welcome invitation to share her fantasy. She has yielded herself to him, deliciously, her lover, as his eager and willing rape victim. That the experience is as extraordinary as it is, speaks of the depth of their common fantasies.

We are now nearly ready to begin detailed sketches and suggestions for imaginative sex.