“Really well. Ben’s wonderful—a really interesting man. It’s a shame you couldn’t chat to him for longer. The audition was packed, and there’s another one tomorrow night. I can’t imagine how he’s going to make us sound any good in less than three months though.”

Audrey smiled but Jess noticed that her eyes were bloodshot, and she saw a tiny globule of something white and viscous stuck to the corner of her lips. “Mum, are you OK? What took you so long in the bathroom?”

Audrey reached for her seat belt, but didn’t meet Jess’s gaze as she clicked it into place. “Oh, you know. Everything seems to take me a long time these days.”

Jess studied her mum’s profile. She suspected she knew what might really have happened, feared her mum hadn’t just been going to the toilet or powdering her nose all that time. “Mum? You would tell me if you were starting to feel worse, wouldn’t you?”

Chapter 11

Audrey

Audrey nodded, wondering if somehow Jess knew. She’d been so careful to hide it, had tried so hard to be quiet when it had happened at home. She’d take herself off to the bathroom, run the taps when the sound began to reverberate around the toilet bowl, always make sure to wipe her lips and brush her teeth afterward to expunge any trace. It was ironic, really. There was barely anything in her stomach to be purged and yet, several times each day, her muscles heaved with a determination so much more dramatic than the results.

“Honestly, darling, I’m fine. But you look exhausted. Are you all right? It’s madness, you working such long hours. Is it really necessary for you to be on set for so long every day?”

Jess started the engine, a weary half-smile shadowed in the glow of the streetlights. “It is what it is. That’s my job. Anyway, tell me about this concert. What’s it going to involve?”

As Jess pulled out of the parking space and headed toward Ladbroke Grove, Audrey told her about the audition, the choir, and the organizers’ plans for a charity concert that involved professionals and amateurs from all over the country.

“Are you sure it’s a good idea for you to be in this choir, Mum? I do understand why you want to do it but I’m still worried it’ll be too much for you. Rehearsals twice a week sounds like a big commitment. Don’t you think you should be taking it easy?”

There was concern in Jess’s voice that Audrey felt she ought to be used to by now, given that it had infused every conversation with her family since her diagnosis. But they’d had this conversation already, when Audrey had first mentioned her plan to audition, and nothing had changed since then. If anything, having met Ben and heard about the concert, she was more determined than ever to join the choir.

“I know it’s only because you care, but there’s no need to worry. The choir will help take my mind off things. Give me something else to focus on.”