Contents ( 161)
- Dedication
- Epigraph
- Contents
- Prologue
- June 23, 1988
- Part One
- February 2016
- Chapter 1
- Audrey
- Chapter 2
- Jess
- Chapter 3
- Lily
- Chapter 4
- Audrey
- Part Two
- March
- Chapter 5
- Audrey
- Chapter 6
- Lily
- Chapter 7
- May 2009
- Chapter 8
- Jess
- Chapter 9
- October 1987
- Chapter 10
- Jess
- Chapter 11
- Audrey
- Part Three
- April
- Chapter 12
- Audrey
- Chapter 13
- April 1972
- Chapter 14
- Lily
- Chapter 15
- Jess
- Chapter 16
- September 1988
- Chapter 17
- Audrey
- Chapter 18
- July 2003
- Chapter 19
- Audrey
- Part Four
- May
- Chapter 20
- Audrey
- Chapter 21
- Audrey
- Chapter 22
- Audrey
- Chapter 23
- Lily
- Chapter 24
- Christmas Day 1988
- Chapter 25
- Audrey
- Chapter 26
- Jess
- Chapter 27
- Audrey
- Chapter 28
- Lily
- Chapter 29
- Jess
- Chapter 30
- Lily
- Chapter 31
- Audrey
- Chapter 32
- Jess
- Chapter 33
- Audrey
- Chapter 34
- June 1988
- Part Five
- June
- Chapter 35
- Audrey
- Chapter 36
- Lily
- Chapter 37
- Audrey
- Chapter 38
- Audrey
- Chapter 39
- Jess
- Chapter 40
- Lily
- Chapter 41
- Audrey
- Chapter 42
- Jess
- Chapter 43
- Lily
- Chapter 44
- Audrey
- Chapter 45
- Jess
- Chapter 46
- June 1988
- Chapter 47
- Jess
- Part Six
- July
- Chapter 48
- Jess
- Chapter 49
- Lily
- Chapter 50
- Audrey
- Chapter 51
- Lily
- Chapter 52
- Audrey
- Chapter 53
- Lily
- Chapter 54
- Audrey
- Chapter 55
- Jess
- Chapter 56
- Audrey
- Chapter 57
- June 22, 1988
- Chapter 58
- Audrey
- Chapter 59
- Lily
- Chapter 60
- June 23, 1988
- Chapter 61
- Jess
- Chapter 62
- Audrey
- Chapter 63
- Jess
- Chapter 64
- Lily
- Chapter 65
- Jess
- Chapter 66
- Audrey
- Part Seven
- November
- Chapter 67
- Jess
- Chapter 68
- Lily
- Chapter 69
- Audrey
- Acknowledgments
- About the Author
- Copyright
- About the Publisher
“Because the sea weed.”
Jess’s hand shoots up over her mouth, her eyes widening with delight that her dad has told her a joke her mum probably wouldn’t approve of. She commits it to memory, ready to share with her classmates tomorrow.
“Come on, petal. Time to dry that hair and get you to bed.”
He bundles the towel around her so that her body is cocooned in thick cotton, picks her up as if she were a baby, and carries her toward her bedroom, where her mum will blow-dry her hair and put her to bed.
Jess nuzzles against her father’s neck, her nose filling with the familiar smell of grown-up offices, salted peanuts, and the last residue of aftershave her dad puts on every morning. On the short walk from the bathroom to her bedroom, she burrows into his shoulder and thinks—as she so often does—that when she’s older she is going to live in the house next door so that she can always stay close to her mum and dad.
Jess blinked and shook her head, conscious that she was staring at the driver in the next car. As he turned toward her and smiled she saw that his eyes were too deep-set, his chin too large, his lips too full. Jess turned away, her cheeks hot, as though that man must know she did this all the time: that she was always seeing traces of her dad where there were none.
The traffic began to move and Jess eased her foot off the brake. Overtaking the car in front, she swerved into the outside lane and put her foot down hard on the accelerator, only slowing down each time a yellow speed camera loomed into view. When she finally pulled up outside the Notting Hill address her mum had given her, a sign informed her that it was residents’ parking until 10:00 p.m. Jess peered up and down the street but could see neither meters nor traffic wardens. She wouldn’t be more than a couple of minutes anyway.
Pulling down the sun visor, Jess looked at herself in the mirror, running a finger across her eyelid where the remnants of that morning’s eyeliner had collected into small, soot-like particles. She turned her head sideways, studied her long nose—the one part of her body that made her understand why rich people resorted to plastic surgery—and practiced smiling at herself, wondering if it was true that you could alter your mood just by changing your expression. But the smile reflecting back at her was like a window onto the past through which Jess didn’t want to look.
It was her sister’s smile, always had been. For years, when she was little, Jess had taken such pride in her smile being a facsimile of her sister’s. She had loved how strangers’ heads had turned in the street to stare at the similarity between them, how she had felt the world to be a less frightening place with her sister by her side. And then, one day, the resemblance had disappeared, as though a wizard had slunk in during the night and cast a spell over them both. Jess had known—even then—that it hadn’t really been that swift, that the change had occurred over days, weeks, months. But to her it had felt sudden, abrupt. Now she had no idea if she and her sister would still look similar if they stood side by side, no longer knew if strangers’ heads would turn if they walked down the street together.