“Yes, we had been happy. For a long time we were very happy. But sometimes life has a habit of throwing things at you that are too big even for the strongest relationship to withstand. What makes you ask?”

“I’ve just always wondered whether you were angry with Grandad about not going to university. I’ve never understood why you didn’t go later, after you’d got married and had children. You got straight As in your A-levels and you’re easily one of the cleverest people I know. From what you’ve always said it sounded like you really wanted to go, so I wondered what stopped you, whether it was Grandad.”

Audrey thought about how to answer honestly without betraying the life she had lived and the choices she had made. “No, it wasn’t Grandad. If anything, it was my own cowardice. I couldn’t imagine how people might have reacted if I’d said I wanted to go to university in my mid-twenties.” Audrey’s mouth felt dry and she sipped the cup of tea cooling between the palms of her hands. “Sometimes, in those months between finding out I was pregnant and marrying Edward, I’d imagine myself sitting down and typing a letter to the university, asking if I could defer for a year. I had it all worked out: I’d get someone to look after the baby while I was at lectures and I’d study in the evenings and at weekends when Edward wasn’t at work. The plan was so clear and simple in my head, yet whenever I thought about actually writing the letter, I felt completely paralyzed. When I look back now, all I can think is, What on earth stopped me? Why didn’t I at least try? And however many times I ask myself that question, there’s only ever one answer I can offer in response. Because I was scared. It’s as simple as that.”

Audrey’s voice began to splinter and she drank the last of her tea, noticing the small brown spots decorating the bottom of the mug where it hadn’t been washed properly.

“What were you scared of?”

“That I couldn’t do it, I suppose. I was worried that I’d cause all that fuss, make all those arrangements, only to discover I couldn’t cope. It was a failure of courage, nothing more complicated than that. It’s the greatest trick people play on themselves, allowing their fears to destroy their ambitions.” Audrey looked out of the window, where the sun was fighting its way through the clouds.

“I’m sorry, Granny. I shouldn’t have asked. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

Audrey shook her head. “Don’t be sorry. I’m pleased you’re interested. Honestly.” She reached for a tissue from her handbag, coughed into it, knew without checking what she’d find if she dared look. She crumpled it into a tight ball and tucked it into her pocket.

“Do you regret it now? Not going to university, I mean. Getting married, having children. Do you wish you’d done things differently?”