I bite my lip, hard. The metal taste of my blood bites back.

‘Maybe she could help? Maybe you can help each other? Is she okay? Have you seen her? Why don’t you two get together?’

‘What do you mean get together?’

‘I mean talk to each other. You want to find someone to help who might be able to help you, why not Michelle? At least she knew our David. And she knows you. She understands our family. Maybe she can help you and you her? How is she, do you know? I tried calling her this week and she didn’t pick up. Maybe she’s—’

‘Michelle’s fine.’ I get up, moving across to the fireplace, away from Mum’s glare. I shift the clock and a china dog about on the shelf. ‘I saw her the other day, Mum, she’s fine. Well, not fine fine, but she’s okay. She’s getting there. She’s…’

Mum gets up to stand beside me, laying a hand gently on my arm, like mums do when they want to drive home a point without making you defensive. ‘I just think you need to talk to people other than just me, love. Michelle is the obvious choice – she knows what you’re going through. Maybe if you had someone else to talk to, you’d stop focusing on this Susan woman. I don’t think it’s healthy, Rhys.’ ‘I should get to work.’ I turn, not quite able to catch Mum’s eye.

‘Yes, you should.’ She pulls at my arms, seeking out the eye contact that I’d do anything to avoid. ‘You did a kind thing,’ she says, my hands clasped in hers. ‘You didn’t have to go back to her, you didn’t have to get involved. You’ve done your bit, now let her find her own way through. You have enough to deal with.’ She leads me through to the hallway, passing me my boots. I rest my shoulder against the front door, my hair covering my eyes. Mum brushes off imaginary dust from my shoulder, then says, ‘Life is gone in a flash, Rhys. We know that better than many.’ I open the front door, only half looking at her. ‘Don’t waste yours fighting fights you’ll never win. With me or anyone.’

I smile a half-smile, which she duly returns.

‘Maybe some time you could meet him,’ she says. ‘Derek, I mean…’

I nod, hoping my poker face hides the fact it’s the last thing I want to do.