Frankly, it was one of the most disturbing and meaningful moments of my life.

From there, everything happened in a blur. The baby was placed in my sister’s arms, and the elation in the room as she met her child left me shaken. Too soon, they took her again, moving her across the room to a station to bathe her and weigh her and run tests.

“Go with her,” Ivy commanded, and all I could do was obey.

I pulled up to the counter, too struck to speak, which the nurses seemed grateful for. They were a finely tuned machine, moving around the baby as they slapped her foot, pricked her heel, and called out numbers. Took her hand and footprints, washed her with gentle care. Put her in the tiniest diaper I’d ever seen, then the tiniest long-sleeved shirt I’d ever seen. It had little pockets on the end that flipped over to cover her hands, so she wouldn’t scratch herself, the nurse told me when I’d asked. Tiny socks, tiny hat, and then she was wrapped up like a burrito in an ugly, scratchy blanket and carted back to my sister.

The doctor and a nurse had something red and slick in a metal bowl. Curious, I leaned in, trying to figure out what it was.

“Want to see the placenta?” the doctor asked when she noticed me lurking.

I spun away from her like a tornado. “Nope. No, thanks. I’m good.”

Ivy laughed, looking up from the bundle in her arms. “I’m gonna keep it. Put it in the freezer and fry it up with some onions.”

I gagged, swallowing back my lunch. “That has to be a biohazard or a CDC violation or … you cannot take that home, Ivy.”

“I’m kidding,” she said. “I don’t even want to see it, never mind eat it. You’re welcome to it if you want it though.” Laughing again when I shook my head, she looked to the doctor. “Could you make sure that’s gone before my boyfriend gets here? As much as I hate that he wasn’t here, seeing that without the context of the rest of it just feels wrong.” She bounced the baby in her arms. “That’s right. Because Daddy will be here soon. Won’t he, Lila?”

I checked my phone. “He’s in the building,” I promised with a smile, leaning over the baby.

She was beautiful, even all smooshed up. Under her cap, which was pulled down to her eyebrows, her hair was dark and curly. Her lashes were thick, and when her eyes occasionally cracked open, the irises were a deep, strange shade of blue. Her toothless mouth sometimes opened to mewl, but since finding her way back to Ivy, she was mostly quiet, wiggling every once in a while.