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Chapters (39)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. Author’s Note
  4. A Spade’s a Spade
  5. By Design
  6. Bawdy by Nature
  7. Tally-ho
  8. Labradoodle-dee-doo
  9. Nine Lives
  10. Anubis
  11. The Curious Case of the Missing Orgasms
  12. A Good Smiting
  13. Sausage, Please
  14. At Your Service
  15. Absolutely Filthy
  16. Blamo
  17. Because, Reasons
  18. An Arrangement
  19. Ophelia
  20. Sex Palace
  21. Birthday Bitch
  22. Heartless
  23. A Certain Rightness
  24. Biohazard
  25. Girls Like Her
  26. Gravity
  27. Best Laid Plans
  28. Scorched Earth
  29. Hey, Dummy
  30. All You Ever Wanted
  31. Directions to Hell
  32. All Hail the Dumbassador
  33. First and Always
  34. Sign For It
  35. Epilogue
  36. Mum’s The Word
  37. Thank you
  38. Also by Staci Hart
  39. About the Author

With a nod, I stood, offering my arm. And out the door we went, into the cold New York night. I stepped to the curb, hand in the air and whistle on my lips. And within a minute, we were sliding into the warm cab, closing the night out behind us.

I gave him the address as Lila slid across the bench to nestle into my side with another sigh, this one lazy, sleepy.

“You finally run out of energy?” I asked, kissing the top of her head where it rested on my shoulder.

“Maybe a little,” she admitted. “This always happens—the letdown after a long night. It feels so good to not have to wear that mask anymore.”

“I don’t know how you do it.”

“Sometimes, I don’t either. I just turn it on when it needs to be on, and I leave it on without regard for how much electricity it takes. That is, until I get the bill.” She shifted to stretch her legs a little, rolling her ankles.

“Feet hurt?”

“Nope.”

I leaned back to look at her.

“I can’t feel them.”

A laugh slipped out of me. “Well, I’ll get you out of them soon enough. And the rest of this.”

She mock pouted. “What, you don’t like the rest of this?”

“Oh, trust me, I do. I just like you out of them even more.”

A happy sigh left her. “Thank you. For coming with me. I thought it would never end.”

“Psh, please. That was the most fun people-watching I’ve had in ages.”

“The rich and ridiculous are entertaining, if not a nightmare to work for. Did you see Ariana Grande trying to climb onto the aerial setup?”

“When she was on Shawn Mendes’s shoulders, trying to reach one of the girls? I don’t know if she was sober enough to realize she was short by at least fifteen feet.”

She laughed. “No, when she climbed up on the catwalk. It took three security guards to get her down.”

“Thank God she didn’t fall. What about when Katy Perry came out in that pineapple costume?”

“Her hat was a paper umbrella! I don’t even know why she did it, but watching her dance in it the rest of the night was the highlight of the whole ordeal.”

“Better than having to clean up Gwyneth Paltrow’s sick?” I asked.

She groaned, still laughing. “I have never seen so much vomit come out of a single human being in my life.”

“Ninety percent kale, ten percent gin.”

Another groan, this one coupled with a swat to my chest. “I mean, it was awfully green.”

I shuddered. “File under Things I’d Never Like to See. I totally had a thing for her when I was a kid.”

She twisted in my arms to give me a look. “You. A fan of Gwyneth Paltrow movies.”