Leo, who was quicker on the uptake than me, said, “Ash heard I used to play football before I dropped out. Been encouraging me to get back into it. Community outreach kind of thing.”

I shrugged. “Yeah, I’ve been trying to build bridges in the Black community,” I said, trying to make it seem like just an SAS thing.

Leo took a moment to look us over, and nodded approvingly. “You make a good couple—and what you said to those reporters is gonna move people. It definitely moved me.” He slapped me on the back. “We’ll talk.”

Then he turned to go. As he did, I noticed some people toss suspicious glances his way. It made me want to kick them in the kneecaps, but that wouldn’t have been helpful.

Paul drove me home. Turns out he had not accepted the invitation to sit with my family. Maybe because it felt more like a dare than an invitation.

It was in the car, next to Paul, and happy to be there, when I realized the truth. My failure today had nothing to do with whether or not I still had the power of change. Yes, I tackled the quarterback, but even in the moment, I knew I hadn’t hit him hard enough to do the job. I hadn’t committed to it the way I had before.

I failed because I wanted to fail.

I didn’t want to lose this version of me. And it infuriated me. How selfish—how irresponsible it was—to put my needs ahead of the world’s. Just because I was temporarily the center of the universe didn’t mean I had the right to act like I was.

“So what’s the deal with Leo?” Paul asked, trying to sound casual about it. “Because there’s definitely a story there that you’re not telling.”

He came to a full stop at a stop sign. A blue one. He had already hit the gas again by the time I remembered what color it used to be. Paul and Leo did know each other in my original world, but only through me. My best friend and my math tutor. But here they didn’t fit in the same picture.

“Leo’s a checker at Publix,” I told Paul. “We had some words, and it got him in trouble. Since it was my fault, I wanted to do something to help him.” All of that was true, and the truth of it seemed to satisfy Paul, although I could tell he was worried there was still more to it. The thought that Paul might be jealous of Leo was both horrifying and hilarious at the same time.

“Trust me,” I told Paul, “you’ve got nothing to worry about.”

“Who said I was worried?”