The crowd around us gasped and tittered and whispered. Someone pulled out a phone and held it up, capturing the moment. Maybe I should have cared, but I didn’t. The part of me that wanted to grab the phone and smash it was otherwise occupied.

I broke off the kiss and turned to the astonished onlookers. Some of them were actually applauding. Others were gawking. And yet others were grinning like it was all very amusing.

“Now go,” I told them. “Talk amongst yourselves, gossip, tweet, alert the media—do whatever the fuck you want, I won’t stop you.”

And then, from out of the crowd stepped Norris, looking like he had just witnessed his home disappear into a sinkhole. I hadn’t known he was there, but what did it matter? If I had known I would have done it anyway.

“Dude, say it isn’t so . . .”

“It’s so,” I told him. “Either you’re good with it, or you can get the hell out of here.”

I probably don’t have to tell you that he chose the latter. He turned and toddled off, slowly shaking his head like a bull struck by a car.

I looked back to Paul, who was more than a little bit dazed by the total detonation of my big walk-in closet.

“That,” he said, smiling, “may have been the dumbest thing you’ve ever done.”

“Yeah, probably,” I admitted. I put up my hand for a fist bump, but then opened my fingers at the last second, and intertwined them with his.

And just like that, my world had changed again.

15

Counting Cows

I used to rarely skip football practice. It’s a cardinal rule that unless you’ve been abducted by aliens, or have been pronounced dead, you don’t skip practice. But I did today. I couldn’t deal with the prospect of two dozen Norrises gaping at me in disbelief. Instead I drove Paul home.

“This is not how I expected this day would go,” said Paul, as we neared his street.

“Are you sorry?” I asked.

It took a moment for him to answer. “I thought I was losing you today. I’m glad I didn’t. More than glad. Even so, this is uncharted territory for me.”

“Me, too,” I told him. “I guess we’ll chart it together.”

He smiled and gave me a quick peck as he got out, and I drove home.