He hesitates for a second, and then I hear soft laughter, as if I am infinitely amusing. “No.”

“So what happens on the island, stays on the island.”

“Mmm-hmm.”

“And when I went back to the mainland, that would be it.”

“Yeah.”

“But now I want to come back and see you, and it’s not part of the… rules.”

Another silence, followed by another soft laugh. “You think too much.”

“I know.” I feel a hint of panic, fear that I’ve done this wrong, gone about this all wrong. I shouldn’t be chasing some young guy, shouldn’t be putting myself out there, open to censure and ridicule.

“Maybe I shouldn’t—” I break off, waiting to see if he’ll finish the thought for me, indicating his feelings one way or another.

He doesn’t. He lets me sit in silence, sit in my desperate need for reassurance. I want him to convince me I should come out.

I must be out of my mind. Having a midlife crisis. Why do I want Kai? Why do I want to do this to myself? I know what he is… know what he said he is… a beach boy. A player. Trouble.

Trouble. There’s that word again.

“I haven’t booked my travel yet,” I say carelessly, casually, as if careless and casual are what I do best. “But I’ll probably be there only a few days. Three, four. And if we can have dinner or drinks, great. But no worries if you can’t.”

Kai, damn him, laughs that soft little laugh and says, “Sure, girl. Whatever you say.”

Daniel isn’t so cooperative when he drops off the kids at my house Sunday night. I wait for the kids to go inside before asking him about his travel plans for winter break so I can plan mine.

“I don’t know what day we’ll fly down,” he answers irritably, trying to close his car door on me so he can escape.

I don’t let him escape. “But I need to know. I’m trying to book an airline ticket myself.”

“I don’t want to deal with this right now.”

“Fine. I’ll just drop the kids at your house Saturday the fifteenth on my way to the airport, then.”

“Saturday the fifteenth?”

“The first day of their winter holiday. They’ve got a week off from school.”

“I know what winter break is, and I know they’ve got a week.”

“Great. I’ll plan on flying out on Saturday, then.” I keep my smile friendly. “If you want them after school Friday, I can do that, too.”

“I’ll look at my calendar—”

“No need to. It’s your time to be with the kids.” I step back, allow him to shut the door. “Have a good week.”

He doesn’t move. He looks at me suspiciously. “Where are you going in February?”

“Away.”

“Away where?”