“You didn’t like him.”

“I didn’t dislike him.”

“If he calls, will you go out on a date?”

“Yes.”

Her jaw drops. She’s elated. “Really?”

I can’t help but smile at her enthusiasm. “Really.”

“Why?”

“He’s a nice guy.”

“So nice is good.”

I laugh at her craziness. She thinks she’s got her head on so straight, but every now and then she’s actually crazier than me. “Anne, nice is great.”

That afternoon, Daniel drops the kids off on their way home from the airport and we have our own little barbecue together—steaks on my gas grill, baked potato, corn on the cob. It’s been a perfect summer day here in Seattle, the kind of day that lasts forever, the sky still light until nearly nine p.m. Nights like this it stays warm, but not too warm. Lawns are green. Children run around in swimsuits, carrying melting Popsicles. The idyllic kind of summer that makes childhood extra poignant.

But finally it’s time for the kids to come in, and take a bath, and get ready for bed. Tomorrow’s the first day of school, and the first day is always a big deal. Jessica has laid out her clothes. William hasn’t set anything out but I know he’s thinking about school. His backpack is already by the front door.

They go to bed, and I can hear them whispering to each other across the hall. I head downstairs, go outside, and collect the Hula-Hoop and basketball from the driveway before locking up the house for the night.

James McKee called while I was making dinner earlier, wondering if I wanted to go to a Mariners game this coming weekend. The Mariners aren’t in last place the way they were last season, but I’m not sure if a game is the right first date. Daniel and I used to attend lots of games together, and then once we had the kids, it became a big family thing. I think attending a game would still be hard for me. Too reminiscent of the married years.

Maybe James can just meet me for dinner somewhere. Palace Kitchen. Or Thai Ginger.

It’ll be a nice evening—not like my dates with Kai, but no one was like Kai.

I draw the curtains in my room and head for the bathroom to wash my face.

I don’t talk about it with anyone, but I still dream about Kai at night. Not as often as I used to, but there are mornings where I wake and feel really, really good, really warm and happy and safe, and then I remember my dream, and Kai and I were together. Unrealistic, I know. But still, a girl does dream.

Chapter Nineteen

Nineteen