I slant him a sideways glance. “I don’t have a husband. I’m divorced.” I take a breath, get the rest of the words out quickly. “And I’ve two kids. A nine-year-old boy and a five-year-old girl.”

“Where are they now?”

“With their dad.”

Kai nods and tips his head, looks long and consideringly at me. “Miss them?”

And his question nearly undoes me. A huge lump fills my throat. Tears start to my eyes, and I have to turn away, stare out at the water, and I know why I haven’t left the Halekulani pool until now. It’s because there are kids all over the beach, playing in the sand, jumping waves in the surf, and I’m not very good watching other people’s kids while missing mine. And I miss mine. “Tremendously.”

“You want to go for a sail, then? I can probably get us on the Outrigger or the Mai Tai. I have friends that work on both.”

I hesitate.

“Or are you anxious to get back to the hotel?” Kai asks.

I grimace. “No. And I’m sure Butch—”

“Butch?”

“The hairy old guy from the pool—would like to spend the evening with me, but it’s not going to happen.”

“What will happen?”

“I’ll probably go up to my room and watch another expensive pay-per-view movie.”

“So let’s go for a sail.”

“Now?”

“Now.”

“But I don’t have a wallet with me.”

“You don’t need a wallet. If they’ve got space, they’ll let us on for free.”

“I can pay—”

“No, no. They’re friends. We look out for each other.” And as he says “No, no,” his hands go out, a casual gesture but one that speaks volumes. He’s so relaxed, so comfortable in his own skin. And there’s quite a bit of skin—tan, taut, sleek skin—and I feel something jump inside me. Desire as well as despair. I have become so much older than I ever hoped to be. And I’m not talking about the outside or chronological age, but the inside me, the one that feels weary and practical and resigned.

I don’t want to be resigned to life. Don’t want to blindly accept fate. There’s still this wild girl inside of me that craves change and needs risk and wants everything. But how does one get everything without losing what one already has?

“Okay,” I say, my insides nervous as hell. “Let’s go.”

Chapter Five

Five

Kai whistles to his friends at the table, signals that he’s taking off with me, and I see the guys he was sitting with smile. I look away, feeling vaguely uncomfortable. How often does Kai do this sort of thing? Adopt a woman? Take a lonely tourist under his wing?