‘I asked. She wouldn’t say.’ Aysha sat down at the kitchen table and started rummaging through his mail, the cheeky mare. Connor swooped in and gathered it all up, took it over to the worktop. ‘How does she seem?’ he asked, getting out another cup, slopping coffee into it.

‘I dunno. You know what she’s like. If there’s one thing Mum loves, it’s a crisis so she can do her “woe-is-me” act. Oh shit.’ Aysha put her hands over her eyes. ‘That sounds cruel. But you know what a drama queen she is.’

‘Yeah, I know.’

‘She seemed to be livening up a bit though.’

‘Well, thank fuck for that,’ said Connor.

‘It’s hit her like a sack of shit, all this with Dad,’ said Aysha, looking mournful. ‘You know that old saying? There’s always one that kisses, and one that turns away? That was them, I think. She kissed, and he turned away. I’ve thought for years that there was something wrong between them. Something off. There was always tension in the house, didn’t you feel that?’

‘I don’t know.’ Connor shrugged. He’d thought Aysha was ignorant of the cracks in their parents’ marriage. Clearly, she wasn’t. ‘I suppose you get used to it. It becomes what’s normal. That feeling of always being on a knife edge.’

‘So you did feel it. You’re not dead from the neck up after all,’ she said, and even raised a smile.

‘I’ve been worried about you, Sis. Benedict’s been worried about you too,’ said Connor.

‘Oh really.’

Connor shrugged. ‘He likes you.’

‘I know that.’ I like him too. Too much. Aysha sipped her coffee. ‘He’s all right, I suppose.’

‘Ah-ha!’ said Connor.

Aysha gave him a small, sad remnant of her usual cheeky grin. ‘Don’t get excited! Just pour some more coffee and shut up, OK?’

Aysha stayed for an hour, drinking too much coffee. Then she stood up. ‘Christ, Connor, I feel wrecked. I’m going home, have a shower, get cleaned up. I’ll catch you later.’

But when Aysha got back to her own flat, her refuge from the madness of the world, she had a shock: her husband Joey Minghella was there, sitting on the front step, waiting for her.

128

128

Some days after Josh died – how many? She didn’t know – Claire got up, was spoon-fed soup, and really wished that Suki would fuck off and just let her be.

But Suki remained.

‘We’ll go walk in the park today,’ she said, dressing Claire in jeans and a top.

‘No,’ said Claire.

‘Yeah, we will.’