It was hell now, being in the same house as Shauna. At night he slept side by side with her, and thought that if she knew, if she knew, then there would be ructions. And what if he talked in his sleep? Said Claire’s name out loud?

One night he woke up and found himself face to face with Shauna in the moonlight, and her dark eyes were wide open. She was awake, and she was watching him. It was such a shock to see her right there in front of him that he almost shrieked like a girl. Somehow he stopped himself. He got up, fetched a drink of water.

‘You’re restless, honey,’ she said when he came back to bed.

‘Yeah, bit of indigestion,’ he said, lying down again, turning his back on her.

He hadn’t touched her in years, and if she made overtures to him, he always turned away. He tried to get back to sleep again, but he couldn’t. His chest was tight as a drum. His heart was racing.

Christ, I have got to get out of here.

113

113

‘What do you think?’ asked Claire, leading Suki and her friend Vicky through the new apartment, room by room. The large sitting room was sunlit, glorious with its fabulous Park view; there were two bedrooms, a super-sized bed in each; a dressing room with ample allocated space for shoes and bags; a bathroom with a bath easily big enough for two.

‘It’s like the bridal suite in a five-star hotel,’ said Vicky. ‘It’s fantastic.’

Suki thought so, too. No thrift-shop finds in here, no vintage. It was all modern, classy, brand new. ‘It’s lovely, Mom.’

‘So where’s Josh?’ asked Vicky.

‘Business. England.’

‘Shame. He coming back soon?’

‘Very soon, yeah.’

‘Is he paying for this? This is big bucks,’ said Vicky.

‘It’s in my name,’ said Claire, feeling put out. Vicky might be Suki’s best friend, but she could be abrasive; and money was her god.

‘Even better. Then if things get a little tired and he moves on, you keep the gold mine.’

The thought of Josh ‘moving on’ made Claire want to cry. Already she missed him like a limb. ‘Is that how it is? With you and Spiro?’ she asked, her voice cold.

‘Hey, no offence! Spiro’s paying my rent right now. Buying me things. This dress. This bag, that’s a Chanel.’

‘It’s beautiful,’ said Suki, who didn’t really care about bags. Or dresses. She knew Claire didn’t either. What Claire wanted was Josh here, with her. That was all. Cuddles and commitment. Suki envied her mother that. She herself had no boyfriend, no one she cared about like Claire cared about Josh. There’d been a few casual dates of course, but nothing serious.