‘Yeah, it is. My husband’s dead, didn’t you hear me? Whatever he did prior to that, what does it matter now?’

‘You seriously feel that way?’

‘Right this minute? I do. Yes.’

‘Because I got some pictures. I’m sorry. Maybe I’m being insensitive and, if I am, I apologize. Maybe under these circumstances you don’t want to see them.’

Do I? Shauna wondered. She thought of Josh, being untrue to her. Cheating on her. There was still a flare of deep indignation at the thought of it. She’d been through so much to get him. To make him hers. And even with him dead, the thought of any possible infidelity on his part was beyond toleration. She couldn’t have it. Not now. Not ever.

‘Was he . . . ?’ she started, then found she couldn’t even say it.

‘Yes. I’m afraid so.’

‘All right,’ said Shauna, feeling her heart shrivel to nothing in her chest. Ah God, it was true then. He had been deceiving her. ‘Can you come over? Say, at three?’

127

127

Connor went home to his flat, throwing the post on to the kitchen table and making coffee. He checked his phone for messages. Benedict had called a couple of days back. That was OK, he’d phoned his mate from Shauna’s place this morning and explained what was happening.

Christ, Dad was dead.

He couldn’t take it in. All the times Connor had said to him, Please, Dad, give up the fight game. Why had Josh never listened? If he had, he would have been alive today.

‘Ah fuck,’ said Connor.

It was awful, thinking he was never going to see Dad again in this world. He was relieved to be away from his mother’s black well of grief and depression for a while, although he felt bad about that. Shauna was his mum but she was also a colossal pain in the arse, always kicking off and seeing doom in every situation. In a black mood, she sucked all the life out of everything around her, including him, including Aysha.

Then the doorbell rang. When he opened the door he found Aysha standing there.

‘Thought you were babysitting Mum?’ he asked as she came in.

‘I was. But she told me to piss off out of it. She’s getting up.’

‘She’s getting up?’ Shauna had seemed like she was glued to that bed.

Aysha nodded. ‘She’s got someone coming over, and she said to me, “Go out, do something, I want a private word with this person.” So I have been dismissed.’

‘Who is it? Life insurance or something?’ Dad had been worth a packet. They all knew that.