‘I had you,’ said Claire, and her voice was so low that Suki had to lean forward to hear the words. ‘I had you right here. Upstairs. Gina was manageress, and Sylvester owned this club. They were my friends. When he died, he left the club to me.’

‘What, am I his then? This Sylvester? Is he my father?’

Claire shook her head. ‘God, this is hard.’

‘It’s hard for you?’ Suki let out a sour laugh. ‘What about me?’

‘I’ve never spoken about this. Not before. I didn’t think I would ever have to.’

‘So who knocked you up? Who was it? You said them. Christ! Was it a threesome or something?’

‘Suki.’ Claire paused. ‘That’s a pretty name.’

‘Yeah. My mother gave it to me. My real one. The one who cared for me. Not you.’

Claire flinched at that. ‘I’m glad someone cared for you.’

There was such heartfelt sincerity in Claire’s face and voice when she said that. Suki felt her throat close. No. She was not going to cry. She refused to.

‘Good job someone did, yeah?’ she snapped.

Claire nodded, looked down at her hands and then up at Suki’s face. ‘The fact is, Suki, that I was raped.’

Suki felt her breath catch in her chest. ‘You what? But . . . by who?’

‘That doesn’t matter. Not just one. It was two men.’ Claire paused, gulped down a breath. ‘I was a virgin when it happened. It was shocking. Brutal. And when I found I was pregnant with you, I just . . . panicked. I was horrified. Terrified. I wanted to deny it was even happening, and when you were born . . . it was just a nightmare. I couldn’t even look at you. Couldn’t bear to.’

Suki stared at Claire. She couldn’t think what to say. The anger drained out of her like water from a bath and left her chilled. Claire had painted a brief but ghastly picture of awful abuse, and it knocked Suki sideways.

‘Oh God,’ said Suki, and stumbled to her feet.

‘Suki . . .’ Claire stood up too, her eyes filling with tears. ‘Wait, don’t—’

But Suki had already blundered to the door and gone.

84

84

Joey Minghella had been pissed off, naturally, when first he heard that Aysha was in the family way, but he could see now that there would be advantages to this. He told Dad his news. Frank Minghella was lying on the sofa watching the racing in trousers, braces and a vest on a warm spring Saturday afternoon. Like Joey, he quickly figured out the wider implications.

‘You got a good deal there, son,’ he said, a blue cloud of cigarette smoke surrounding him as he reached for another can of beer from the six-pack on the floor. He scratched his fat belly luxuriously and winked. ‘Flynn lot are loaded. You’ll be on a damned good thing if you can get her up the aisle.’