Back Expectation: a Novel Save as PDF
Chapters (66)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. Epigraph
  4. London Fields
  5. 2010
  6. Hannah
  7. Cate
  8. Lissa
  9. Cate
  10. Abjections
  11. Hannah
  12. Lissa
  13. Soulmates
  14. Cate
  15. Lissa
  16. Hannah
  17. Resistance
  18. Cate
  19. Lissa
  20. Hannah
  21. True North
  22. Cate
  23. Lissa
  24. Hannah
  25. London
  26. Lissa
  27. Cate
  28. Lissa
  29. Hannah
  30. Bras
  31. Cate
  32. Hannah
  33. Cate
  34. Hannah
  35. Cate
  36. Hannah
  37. Lissa
  38. Hannah
  39. Lissa
  40. Hens
  41. Cate
  42. Hannah
  43. Lissa
  44. Hannah
  45. Cate
  46. Lissa
  47. Hannah
  48. Epithalamium
  49. Lissa
  50. Hannah
  51. Cate
  52. Lissa
  53. Hannah
  54. Lissa
  55. Hannah
  56. Cate
  57. Lissa
  58. Hannah
  59. Lissa
  60. 2012
  61. Hannah
  62. London Fields
  63. Acknowledgments
  64. About the Author
  65. Also by Anna Hope
  66. About the Publisher

Sam looks to her, eyes with an underwater glaze. “Hey.” He raises a hand.

“What time did you get in?”

“Late,” he says with a shrug. “Two-ish. We had some beers after the shift.”

“Sleep well?”

“Oh. OK.” He sighs, cricking his neck. “Not great, but OK.”

How many hours straight through? Even a late night gives him, what, six, maybe seven hours of uninterrupted sleep—the thought of it, of seven straight hours, of how it would feel. Despite this he still looks tired, with heavy shadows beneath his eyes—the indoor pallor of the professional chef. He sleeps in the spare room, which is no longer, it seems, spare: it is his room now, just as the room that should be theirs is hers—hers and their son’s, Tom’s crib unused, a dumping ground for clothes, while Tom sleeps with Cate. Easier that way, for the many, many times Tom wakes.

He turns back to the coffee, plunges, pours. “You want one?”

“Sure.”

He makes his way over to the fridge for milk. “On an early one today,” he says. “Doing lunch.”

He works as a sous-chef in a restaurant in the center of town. Ten years behind London was what she heard him say on the phone to a friend back in Hackney the other night, but OK, you know, OK. Getting some input already.

He was on the verge of opening a place in Hackney Wick, before the rents went mad. Before she got pregnant. Before they moved out here.

He hands her her coffee, takes a sip of his own. “Did you wash my whites?”

She looks around, sees the pile in the corner, three days’ worth. “Sorry, no.”

“Really? I left them in your way, so you wouldn’t forget.” Sam goes over to the pile, lifts the least stained overalls to the light, starts scrubbing it viciously with the scourer at the sink. Outside the drizzle is thickening into rain.

“What are you two up to today?” he says.

“Washing, I suppose. Unpacking.”

“What about that playgroup? The one Mum mentioned?” He nods to the brightly colored flyer stuck up on the fridge, the flyer Alice brought around the other day. Alice, Sam’s mother, with her concerned face, mouth pursed somewhere between a grimace and a smile: It’s a lovely little group, it really is. You might make some friends. Alice, the mastermind of the plan to buy a little house for you all. In Canterbury. Alice, their savior. Alice, who has a key to the lovely little house and likes to pop round unannounced.

“Yeah,” Cate says. “Maybe.”

“And we’ve got that thing tonight,” Sam says, giving up on the scouring, hanging his overalls on a chair to dry, “don’t forget. At Mark and Tamsin’s.”

“I haven’t forgotten.”

“I’ll pick you up, shall I?”

“Sure.”

“But Cate?”

“Yes?”

“Try and get out today, won’t you? Take Tom out?”