Back Expectation: a Novel Save as PDF
Chapters (66)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. Epigraph
  4. London Fields
  5. 2010
  6. Hannah
  7. Cate
  8. Lissa
  9. Cate
  10. Abjections
  11. Hannah
  12. Lissa
  13. Soulmates
  14. Cate
  15. Lissa
  16. Hannah
  17. Resistance
  18. Cate
  19. Lissa
  20. Hannah
  21. True North
  22. Cate
  23. Lissa
  24. Hannah
  25. London
  26. Lissa
  27. Cate
  28. Lissa
  29. Hannah
  30. Bras
  31. Cate
  32. Hannah
  33. Cate
  34. Hannah
  35. Cate
  36. Hannah
  37. Lissa
  38. Hannah
  39. Lissa
  40. Hens
  41. Cate
  42. Hannah
  43. Lissa
  44. Hannah
  45. Cate
  46. Lissa
  47. Hannah
  48. Epithalamium
  49. Lissa
  50. Hannah
  51. Cate
  52. Lissa
  53. Hannah
  54. Lissa
  55. Hannah
  56. Cate
  57. Lissa
  58. Hannah
  59. Lissa
  60. 2012
  61. Hannah
  62. London Fields
  63. Acknowledgments
  64. About the Author
  65. Also by Anna Hope
  66. About the Publisher

She hands him a lighter and he flicks it gratefully, leaning his head back with the release of smoke. She takes the leather pouch from him and rolls one of her own, and their smoke mingles in the damp air. On the concourse, people hurry over concrete, which is rain-slicked now, carrying their bags and their books. “Have you eaten?” he says.

“No.”

“There’s a pub somewhere around here. Does . . . tapas or something.”

Something about the way he says “tapas” makes her smile.

He looks disoriented as they cross the road, and she has to fight the urge to put a hand onto his arm and steer him through the traffic to safety.

“It’s around here somewhere,” he says, leading her through the redbrick flats that lie to the south of the Euston Road, along a wide Georgian terrace to a dark-looking corner pub. “I think this is it. It’ll do, anyway.” He holds the door open for her. “Drink? I’m going to have a pint. And a whiskey. You want a whiskey?”

There is no mention of food. She looks at the clock above the bar—2:45.

“Sure,” she says. “Why not.”

She finds them a table in the corner of the bar, tucked away from the window. He comes back with two pints of Guinness and two glasses of whiskey. “Your health.” He gulps the whiskey down, chases it with a healthy swig of Guinness. Then, as though he notices her presence properly for the first time, “How was your day?” he says.

“Awful.”

He nods grimly.

“You?” she says.

“You don’t want to know.” He lifts his head to her, and she sees his despair. “It didn’t work. The IVF. The last go.”

She is not surprised. She wishes she were but she is not.

“I’m lost,” he says. “We’re lost. In all of it.” He looks away to where rain has begun to dapple the window, and downs the rest of his Guinness in three open-throated gulps. “I’m going to get another drink. You want one? Another whiskey?”

“Sure.”

She fiddles with her phone when he has gone. Turns it on. Turns it off again. It is strange, she thinks, that Hannah has said nothing to her of this news. She finishes her whiskey. Sips her pint.

There are two more pints of Guinness when he returns, and two whiskeys. “I’ll drink it, if you can’t.” He gives a small smile as he slides them over the table towards her. “So go on, why was your day so bad? Hannah says you’re in a play.”

She wants to tell him that it doesn’t matter. That she doesn’t want to talk about herself. “Yes,” she says. “I am.”

“Something Russian?”

She nods. “Uncle Vanya. Chekhov.”

“How’s it going?”

“It’s OK.”

He leans forward. “OK? That doesn’t sound too good.”