Back Expectation: a Novel Save as PDF
Chapters (66)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. Epigraph
  4. London Fields
  5. 2010
  6. Hannah
  7. Cate
  8. Lissa
  9. Cate
  10. Abjections
  11. Hannah
  12. Lissa
  13. Soulmates
  14. Cate
  15. Lissa
  16. Hannah
  17. Resistance
  18. Cate
  19. Lissa
  20. Hannah
  21. True North
  22. Cate
  23. Lissa
  24. Hannah
  25. London
  26. Lissa
  27. Cate
  28. Lissa
  29. Hannah
  30. Bras
  31. Cate
  32. Hannah
  33. Cate
  34. Hannah
  35. Cate
  36. Hannah
  37. Lissa
  38. Hannah
  39. Lissa
  40. Hens
  41. Cate
  42. Hannah
  43. Lissa
  44. Hannah
  45. Cate
  46. Lissa
  47. Hannah
  48. Epithalamium
  49. Lissa
  50. Hannah
  51. Cate
  52. Lissa
  53. Hannah
  54. Lissa
  55. Hannah
  56. Cate
  57. Lissa
  58. Hannah
  59. Lissa
  60. 2012
  61. Hannah
  62. London Fields
  63. Acknowledgments
  64. About the Author
  65. Also by Anna Hope
  66. About the Publisher

“Oh,” says Lissa. “It’s just my mum’s.”

“Blimey,” he says with a wink. “Then I’d better behave.”

THE GALLERY IS busy, thronged with faces she has not seen for years. Her mother is surrounded by people. It is a month or so since she has seen her and Sarah has lost weight, but she looks extraordinary—regal in a long red dress. It is she who should be Cleopatra, thinks Lissa, not herself.

The pictures are few; there are no more than seven. In each one the painted area takes up only a third of the canvas, then there is an expanse of white space around it. They are hung without frames, so the effect is of the image being suspended in space. As the eyes adjust to the canvas, objects emerge. In one there is a young girl wearing a cotton dress, half turned away, her face in profile; she is stooping to look at something on the ground, but the ground is not there, has disappeared into blankness beneath her feet. The face is smudged, but Lissa knows it is herself.

In the largest of the canvases, which takes up most of one wall, a smudged line suggests a figure, or a creature, walking on the horizon, thinning to nothingness; it could be the Bolivian salt flats, it could be the surface of the moon. There are few distinguishing features, but Lissa knows the figure is Sarah—her mother with her back turned—walking away.

The canvases are not cheap—between two and five thousand each—but there are already three red dots on the cards tacked to the wall.

“She’ll sell them all at this rate.”

Lissa turns to see Laurie beside her. The older woman threads her arm through Lissa’s. “I think she knew when she started these, don’t you?”

“Knew what?”

“How ill she is.” Laurie gestures at the paintings. “It’s as though everything inessential has fallen away.”

And Lissa feels something falling away from her—the ground, her stomach. She looks down at her hands, which Laurie is squeezing.

“And you, Liss?” Laurie is saying. “How are you? How are you coping with it all?”

“Fine,” Lissa hears herself say softly. “I’m doing fine.”

By the time the gallery owner climbs onto a crate to stand above the crowd and speak, the place is packed. Lissa has walked around the block, decided she will leave—decided she will come back again. She has smoked four cigarettes, drunk four glasses of wine. She has lost Johnny, found him and lost him again. She hangs back as the crowd makes a tight circle around Sarah and the gallery owner, silent while Sarah says a few brief words, but Lissa hardly hears above the hard thrum of her anger, and when the crowd parts, she pushes her way towards her mother and takes her by the arm.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Tell you what?”