‘Very astute of you. Oh, and double-cross me and you’ll be carrion for the hiburnals come the morning. Welcome to the Douzey. What’s our mission statement again?’

‘That we are to uphold the sanctity of the sleepstate, and ensure the most favourable outcome is enjoyed by the majority.’

‘Good. Might learn something over the Winter. Might have some fun; shit, you might even survive. But treat us like fools, follow a private agenda or undermine us in any way, and I’ll be down on you like a ton of grade “A” glyptodon shit. Do you think I’m speaking metaphorically?’

‘No, ma’am.’

‘Good. Now piss off.’

I stood up, saluted, and walked out of her office. I was sodden with nervous sweat. I found the changing rooms, took off my jacket and leaned against the cold lockers, heart thumping.

HiberTech

‘ . . . Winter bondsman was an occupation that wasn’t universally liked, for obvious reasons. Incautious agreement born of desperation to an overly stringent Winterloan was the number-one cause of personal bankruptcy. Most people call it Coldsharking but bondsmen referred to their trade as “an invaluable service to the wakeratti”  . . . ’

– Handbook of Winterology, 4th edition, Hodder & Stoughton

‘I should have told you they were the same person,’ said Jonesy when she found me sitting in the staff rec room, head in hands, ‘sorry about that.’

I looked up. She was trying to hide a smile and not doing it very well.

‘To be honest,’ she added, ‘your face was pretty funny when you saw her. Like that time we were at Glastonbury together and Piano Keyes fell off the stage. Remember?’

‘No.’

‘It wasn’t funny when he fell off the stage, or not funny your face, or no, you don’t remember the time we were at Glastonbury?’

‘Some, all, I don’t know. Well, okay, sort of funny,’ I added, giving her a half-smile to at least pretend I was being a good sport. But it wasn’t funny right now. Far from it. And we were never at Glastonbury together, with or without Piano Keyes. She was making up nostalgia, and wasn’t particularly good at it.

‘Can I ask a question?’ I said.

‘Shoot.’

‘How can Toccata be a Chief Consul with a split consciousness?’

‘One could ask just as easily how Aurora can be the Head of HiberTech Security with the same problem. It’s Winter Best Practice to deal with Aurora or Toccata, but not both. I guess you’ve figured the good eye switches depending on who’s at home. Right is Aurora, left is Toccata.’

‘I’ll remember that.’

‘It could save your life.’

I paused.

‘Why does Toccata want me to spy on Aurora and HiberTech?’

‘With those two, nothing is ever clear-cut. I heartily recommend you just say nothing and follow orders.’

‘Yes,’ I replied soberly, ‘it’s probably the most important thing I’ve learned from the Logan fiasco.’