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Chapters (53)
  1. Praise for Early Riser
  2. PENGUIN BOOKS
  3. Also by Jasper Fforde
  4. Dedication
  5. Mrs Tiffen could play the bouzouki
  6. Fat Thursday
  7. Jack Logan
  8. Testing time
  9. Cardiff nights
  10. Oliver Tiffen goes hot
  11. Merthyr
  12. Meet Aurora
  13. The John Edward Jones
  14. Over the hump
  15. Talgarth and HiberTech
  16. The Wincarnis
  17. Consulate and Fodder
  18. Marooned
  19. The Sarah Siddons
  20. Room 901
  21. Trip to the Gower
  22. Dream, wake, repeat
  23. Jonesy
  24. Starving in the basement
  25. The Wincarnis
  26. The Consulate
  27. Toccata
  28. HiberTech
  29. Fodder
  30. The Museum
  31. Villains
  32. Truce busted
  33. Something rotten in the winter
  34. Dream again
  35. Dawn and the dead
  36. A remote farm in Lincolnshire
  37. Jonesy
  38. The Farnesworths
  39. Dreamspace
  40. Fired & filing
  41. Charlie Webster
  42. Thumped
  43. H4S radar
  44. The Geraldus Cambrensis
  45. The cylinder
  46. Night in the museum
  47. Night in the museum 2
  48. White-out
  49. Orientation
  50. Dreamspace
  51. The Awakening
  52. Acknowledgements
  53. What’s next onyour reading list?

‘I never like this part of the job,’ said Logan. In fact, no one enjoyed it as far as I could see – except the MediTechs themselves, who were finally going to do in the Winter what they had been preparing for all Summer. The redeployed, their limited usefulness over and physiologically unable to hibernate, were due to be parted out as soon as the recipients were in full hibernation. If nightwalkers were the unintended consequence of Morphenox, the free menial workers and transplantation possibilities were the unintended consequences of the unintended consequence. Screening had been carried out all Summer, and each Edward or Jane had the names of their intended recipients cold-branded on their various parts. Leg, face, fingers, organs – there wasn’t much that couldn’t be replaced. Something to do with the hibernatory state being especially conducive to non-rejection.

‘Never enough, eh?’ said one of the MediTechs, consulting a clipboard and the thirty or so individuals we had collected from their places of work. They stood there blankly, swaying gently from side to side until they were loaded into a mammoth-truck and carted away.

‘Doesn’t seem right somehow,’ I said, probably too loudly. Consul Thomas heard me.

‘You’ll not complain once you lose something to frost and want it replaced,’ she said, patting her arm, which I noted was a great deal paler than the rest of her, ‘and you will, eventually. You’re not part of the Winter until the Winter’s taken a part of you.’

*   *   *

On the fourth day before Slumberdown the local police conducted the seasonal handover of Jurisdiction, a ceremony that included the mayor, the Chief of Police and a large symbolic snowflake made of gingerbread and marzipan. I wasn’t there; someone had to answer the phones in the office and finish the ironing.

*   *   *

Two days after that, Beryl Cook nearly had a meltdown. And this is when Mrs Tiffen comes back into the story.

Oliver Tiffen goes hot

‘ . . . HotPots were replaced every thirty years whether they needed it or not, always during the early Summer. Exclusion zones were implemented and the work carried out by a team chosen by lottery from the over-sixty age group. Given that the average life expectancy was sixty-four, the effect of long-term radiation poisoning would be minimal. High risk emergency shutdown had their own workforce: The High Octanes  . . . ’

– from Seventeen Winters, by Winter Consul Lance Jones

We drove across the city at daybreak, the tracks of the Sno-Trac clean and sharp over a fresh fall of snow, the sky slate-grey. Only the thin trails of vapour rising from the numerous Dormitoria gave any clue that we were in a city of almost half a million people.