Chapters (53)
- Praise for Early Riser
- PENGUIN BOOKS
- Also by Jasper Fforde
- Dedication
- Mrs Tiffen could play the bouzouki
- Fat Thursday
- Jack Logan
- Testing time
- Cardiff nights
- Oliver Tiffen goes hot
- Merthyr
- Meet Aurora
- The John Edward Jones
- Over the hump
- Talgarth and HiberTech
- The Wincarnis
- Consulate and Fodder
- Marooned
- The Sarah Siddons
- Room 901
- Trip to the Gower
- Dream, wake, repeat
- Jonesy
- Starving in the basement
- The Wincarnis
- The Consulate
- Toccata
- HiberTech
- Fodder
- The Museum
- Villains
- Truce busted
- Something rotten in the winter
- Dream again
- Dawn and the dead
- A remote farm in Lincolnshire
- Jonesy
- The Farnesworths
- Dreamspace
- Fired & filing
- Charlie Webster
- Thumped
- H4S radar
- The Geraldus Cambrensis
- The cylinder
- Night in the museum
- Night in the museum 2
- White-out
- Orientation
- Dreamspace
- The Awakening
- Acknowledgements
- What’s next onyour reading list?
I couldn’t run as fast as I wanted. I was weak, and my feet felt draggy. Within a few paces I could sense the hands grasp the hem of my trousers, and from here they started to climb my legs, making me heavier, impeding my progress. I made it to the car and tried to get in but the weight and volume of the hands made it impossible to move, let alone drive. I kicked and pushed and tore at the hands but even if I dislodged one, two more would stream out of the earth to take their place. I heaved myself into the driver’s seat and slipped the key into the ignition. The oil and generator lights flicked on and the car’s engine burst into life. Without a foot to work the clutch, I simply pushed the gear lever into first. The gearbox clunked, the car lurched and the engine stalled. I shouted as a wave of hands erupted from the soil, flowed into the car in a flood and covered my face and then dragged me outside. I had a fleeting glimpse of the shimmery Mrs Nesbit before I was pulled beneath the ground, the taste of soil in my mouth, the earth above me pressing heavily on my chest and a sense of enveloping darkness. I tried to yell but my mouth was full of dry soil and—
* * *
— a voice. But not Mrs Nesbit’s.
‘What are you still doing here?’
‘I’m sorry?’
‘I’ll rephrase that: what in all that’s cold and dead and putrid are you still doing here?’
Jonesy
‘ . . . Skill erosion due to hibernational mortality could be disastrous to complex manufacturing, infrastructure and management systems, so almost every job was devised with SkillZero protocols in mind. Anyone who achieved an 82% pass or higher in General Skills could run anything from a fast food joint to a Graphite Reactor . . . ’
– Handbook of Winterology, 6th edition, Hodder & Stoughton
I didn’t recognise the voice, but figured it was a Deputy sent by Chief Logan to make sure I didn’t lapse into full hibernation, always a risk with first-time Winterers. I was grateful to be back in Cardiff. Spending my first assignment in Sector something-or-rather at the Sarah Whatsit Dormitorium hadn’t sounded like a huge barrel of fun, although I couldn’t as yet remember how I’d managed to get back.
On the Railplane, I expect.
‘You with me, Worthing?’
‘I’m with you,’ I croaked, my throat dry, my vocal cords stiff with disuse.
‘Truly?’
‘No.’
I felt myself groan. My head felt like mud, my eyes were gummed tight shut and I really only had one thought in my head: that I desperately, urgently, painfully wanted to go back to sleep.