“I’m terrible,” she said. “I can only see shadows, and the doctors don’t know if my vision will improve. I had a visit from the Austin Police Department personnel officer earlier. Nice lady. Assured me I’d be on full disability. All I wanted to do was punch her.”

“Helpless is never a good place to be.”

“One day you think you got your shit together, and the next you don’t.”

“I’ve made time for you in my schedule. We need to talk.”

“What’s there to talk about? My vision is messed up, and I’m likely to lose my job. Besides, we crossed a bridge that rules out therapy now.”

“Your life has changed,” he said. “We’re friends, and as a friend I can help.”

“I’m not sure what would make this better.”

“These changes are coming with a lot of emotion.”

“Grief, anger, bargaining, acceptance? I haven’t accepted squat, but I ping between grief, anger, and bargaining by the minute. Amazing what you’ll promise when you really want something.”

“It’s important to talk about it.”

“Talk doesn’t change anything.”

“Talk will help you come up with a plan. There’s always a way forward.”

“I don’t want to be on this new path,” she said. “I don’t want it.”

He drew in a breath. “It’s going to take time.”

“What really sucks is that I’ve not only screwed up my life, but I didn’t save Casey Andrews.”

“The missing woman.”

“Yes.”

“The case is still open.”

“If she’s alive, can you imagine what her life is like? She’s got to be suffering.” Picturing the panic in Casey’s eyes jacked her nerves.

“Jordan. This isn’t helping.” His voice sounded closer.

She could feel the air shift around her and knew he was right by her bedside. “If you can suggest something that’ll help, I’m all ears.”

“Give yourself time, Jordan,” he said softly. “You aren’t good to anyone if you don’t take care of yourself. Your goal should be to get better.”

“If bed rest would do the trick, I’d be all over it. But no one has any idea what will make my sight better.”

“Time. Give it time.”

“How long do I wait? How long before I accept that my sight is never coming back, Rogan?” She had not said the words out loud until this moment because the prospect terrified her so much.

“I’ll always be here for you.” He drew his fingertip gently down her cheek.

“I really need to be alone.”

“Sure. Anything you want.”

She listened to his footsteps cross the room, pause at the door, and then vanish into the hallway.