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Contents ( 112)
  1. Dedication
  2. Epigraph
  3. Contents
  4. Chapter One
  5. The Cat’s Out of the Box
  6. Chapter Two
  7. The Most Important Meal of the Day
  8. Chapter Three
  9. The Comeback Kid Minus the Comebacks
  10. Chapter Four
  11. AKA Patricia
  12. Chapter Five
  13. One Size Does Not Fit All
  14. Chapter Six
  15. The Difference Between Like and Like-Like
  16. Chapter Seven
  17. Good as Gravy
  18. Chapter Eight
  19. By Invitation Only
  20. Chapter Nine
  21. The Witching Hour
  22. Chapter Ten
  23. 100% Duck
  24. Chapter Eleven
  25. It’s the Thought That Counts
  26. Chapter Twelve
  27. Our Very Best Life
  28. Chapter Thirteen
  29. The Life of the Party
  30. Chapter Fourteen
  31. Ask and You Shall Receive
  32. Chapter Fifteen
  33. R-E-S-P-E-C-T
  34. Chapter Sixteen
  35. Neutral Territory
  36. Chapter Seventeen
  37. A Girl on a Mission
  38. Chapter Eighteen
  39. Paper, Paper, Get Your Paper!
  40. Chapter Nineteen
  41. Risky Business
  42. Chapter Twenty
  43. No Right Choice
  44. Chapter Twenty-One
  45. The Kind of Promise You Can Keep
  46. Chapter Twenty-Two
  47. Behind Door Number Three
  48. Chapter Twenty-Three
  49. Common Ground
  50. Chapter Twenty-Four
  51. Back on the Market
  52. Chapter Twenty-Five
  53. Let It All Out
  54. Chapter Twenty-Six
  55. My Calling
  56. Chapter Twenty-Seven
  57. First-Date Jitters
  58. Chapter Twenty-Eight
  59. Home Sweet Home
  60. Chapter Twenty-Nine
  61. Causing a Scene
  62. Chapter Thirty
  63. A New Kind of Normal
  64. Chapter Thirty-One
  65. Stuck in the Middle
  66. Chapter Thirty-Two
  67. Three Legs Are Better Than Two
  68. Chapter Thirty-Three
  69. Project BFF
  70. Chapter Thirty-Four
  71. Lip-Synching for My Life
  72. Chapter Thirty-Five
  73. Dear Sweet Pea
  74. Author’s Note
  75. About the Author
  76. Copyright
  77. About the Publisher

“What were you saying again?” Dad chuckles. “About this movie being old?”

Oscar huffs. “Well, it’s definitely old.”

“Still pretty scary, though,” says Dad as he plucks a piece of popcorn out of my hair and eats it. “Oscar, am I going to be in trouble with your mom for showing you a scary movie? Your mother is one heck of a lioness.”

“My brothers have scarred me for life, so I’m pretty sure you’re safe, Mr. DiMarco.” Oscar looks around. “Should I get the, uh, vacuum to clean all this up?”

Dad surveys the popcorn damage. “I really need a dog.” He shakes his head and crosses his foot over his knee, leaning back into the sofa. “We’ll leave it for the morning. Don’t want anyone to miss any of the good parts.”

“There are good parts in this movie?” I squeak.

Dad puts his arm around me and tugs me closer to him. “I’ve got a thing or two to teach you yet, Sweet Pea.”

I glance around at the popcorn all over the floor and our laps. Mom would freak out, but Mom’s not here.

Oscar and I lie in my room all tucked in, him on the air mattress purchased for the camping trip my mom refused to go on, because she has a fear of snakes (I wanted to be annoyed at her for that, but snakes freak me out pretty big-time too), and me in my bed. Well, my second bed.

There’s something about the way the shadows are cast against the wall in this room that makes the whole place feel haunted. I don’t actually think there are any ghosts here, but this room reminds me of a bad guy in a crummy disguise. Like, the kind you might see in a cartoon where the bad guy just puts on a fake mustache and a trench coat and somehow manages to fool everyone except me.

Oscar falls asleep first, and then I begin to drift, but only for a moment before my eyes shoot open and I gasp. There’s nothing worse than being shocked awake by the realization that you forgot your homework or to clean your cat’s litter box. (To be honest, I don’t know which of those is worse.)

I was supposed to go over to Miss Flora Mae’s today, and I 250 percent forgot. I slide out of bed and tiptoe around a sleeping Oscar. The clock on my bedside table says it’s nearly one in the morning—what Cliff VanWarren would call the witching hour. I suck in a deep breath as my bedroom door creaks shut behind me.

Down the hallway, a glowing blue light from the TV leaks out from under the door of Dad’s bedroom. Sometimes Mom would sleep on the couch because she couldn’t fall asleep with the TV on and Dad had a hard time falling asleep with it off. Mostly, they’d just set a timer, but now I wonder if Mom sleeping in the guest room wasn’t really about the TV.