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Contents ( 112)
  1. Dedication
  2. Epigraph
  3. Contents
  4. Chapter One
  5. The Cat’s Out of the Box
  6. Chapter Two
  7. The Most Important Meal of the Day
  8. Chapter Three
  9. The Comeback Kid Minus the Comebacks
  10. Chapter Four
  11. AKA Patricia
  12. Chapter Five
  13. One Size Does Not Fit All
  14. Chapter Six
  15. The Difference Between Like and Like-Like
  16. Chapter Seven
  17. Good as Gravy
  18. Chapter Eight
  19. By Invitation Only
  20. Chapter Nine
  21. The Witching Hour
  22. Chapter Ten
  23. 100% Duck
  24. Chapter Eleven
  25. It’s the Thought That Counts
  26. Chapter Twelve
  27. Our Very Best Life
  28. Chapter Thirteen
  29. The Life of the Party
  30. Chapter Fourteen
  31. Ask and You Shall Receive
  32. Chapter Fifteen
  33. R-E-S-P-E-C-T
  34. Chapter Sixteen
  35. Neutral Territory
  36. Chapter Seventeen
  37. A Girl on a Mission
  38. Chapter Eighteen
  39. Paper, Paper, Get Your Paper!
  40. Chapter Nineteen
  41. Risky Business
  42. Chapter Twenty
  43. No Right Choice
  44. Chapter Twenty-One
  45. The Kind of Promise You Can Keep
  46. Chapter Twenty-Two
  47. Behind Door Number Three
  48. Chapter Twenty-Three
  49. Common Ground
  50. Chapter Twenty-Four
  51. Back on the Market
  52. Chapter Twenty-Five
  53. Let It All Out
  54. Chapter Twenty-Six
  55. My Calling
  56. Chapter Twenty-Seven
  57. First-Date Jitters
  58. Chapter Twenty-Eight
  59. Home Sweet Home
  60. Chapter Twenty-Nine
  61. Causing a Scene
  62. Chapter Thirty
  63. A New Kind of Normal
  64. Chapter Thirty-One
  65. Stuck in the Middle
  66. Chapter Thirty-Two
  67. Three Legs Are Better Than Two
  68. Chapter Thirty-Three
  69. Project BFF
  70. Chapter Thirty-Four
  71. Lip-Synching for My Life
  72. Chapter Thirty-Five
  73. Dear Sweet Pea
  74. Author’s Note
  75. About the Author
  76. Copyright
  77. About the Publisher

“Patricia, dear, come here.”

“Be right back,” I tell Oscar.

“Squawk like a bird if you need rescuing,” he mutters.

I wave a hand in his face to shut him up.

“I’ve got a favor to ask you,” says Miss Flora Mae as she ducks into her garage.

There goes my afternoon of TV and groaning about homework. Mom and Dad would kill me if they knew I said no to our lifelong neighbor during her time of need. At least that’s one thing they can still agree on.

My eyes adjust to the darkness of the garage as I walk out of the sunlight to find Miss Flora Mae packing her black Cadillac to the gills. “Whoa! Are you going somewhere?”

To be totally honest, Miss Flora Mae leaves her house so rarely that I forgot what kind of car she even had. Even her groceries are delivered to her. Not with some fancy app or anything, like Aunt Cheryl has in Phoenix, but Green’s Grocers does home delivery for senior citizens and people who have trouble leaving their house. Mom says it’s that kind of watch-out-for-your-neighbor attitude that she likes about Valentine.

She shakes her head and removes her sunglasses. I notice for the first time how long and smooth her white hair is, parted at the center of her head. “My baby sister, Gloria, has fallen ill.” She turns to me. “No matter how old we get she’ll always be the baby, so I’m gonna head off to take care of her for the next few weeks.”

“I didn’t know you had a sister” is all I manage to blurt out. This lady is one giant mystery, but for some reason the thing that shocks me most is that she has any family at all.

She shrugs, tossing an old toolbox into her back seat and then throwing a quilt in after that. The car is full of odds and ends—definitely not the kind of stuff I’d take with me on a road trip to see family. Though the last time we visited Aunt Cheryl, I somehow thought I needed to bring the encyclopedia set Dad got me for Christmas, Mom’s old cell phone that she’d passed down to me (not connected, for the record), and three whoopee cushions. Just in case. It was the first time Mom let me pack myself for a trip. (I have to be totally honest and admit that I forgot to pack any underwear. I knew I was forgetting something.)

“Well,” she says, “we don’t like each other much, but we are cursed to love each other.”

I almost gasp. I can’t believe she’d have the guts to say something like that out loud—especially to me. Adults are never that honest with kids—but maybe that’s what happens when you get old. I’ve got to say, though, something about the way Miss Flora Mae says things really makes stuff click for me sometimes. Because the way she feels about her sister is pretty much how I’m feeling about my parents right about now: 150 percent cursed.