‘Answer me. You owe me that much. You’re going to at least give me that. Who is he?’

The sagging figure slowly draws itself up. She’s probably trying to look Billy in the eyes, but she seems to be staring straight into the camera when she opens her mouth and then closes it again. Hesitates, as though the words are too difficult to get out. As though she knows they’re just going to make everything worse.

Then she licks her dry lips and takes a deep breath.

‘My father,’ she says.

Billy doesn’t seem to understand.

‘Your father? What does he have to do with . . . ?’

He trails off as the information sinks in.

‘My father. And yours, Billy. He . . . assaulted me from when I was eleven.’

Luna takes another deep breath, swallows hard and bows her head. Then the words begin to pour out of her. In a dull monotone, as though any inflection would risk stemming the flow.

‘And my mother looked the other way. Pretended not to see. She didn’t even own up to knowing what he was doing when I got pregnant. I guess it was easier to tell herself her daughter was a slut who had been knocked up by some lowlife than that her husband was a monster who fucked children. She was the one who arranged the adoption. I was only fourteen when I realised I was pregnant, and it was too late to have an abortion, so I had no choice. I had just turned fifteen when you were born.’

She pauses, as though to catch her breath.

‘You were ten weeks premature. They had to do an emergency caesarean. I don’t know exactly what happened or why I started to bleed, but I was left unable to conceive. You’re my only biological child.’

Not a sound from Billy. And with tears streaming down her cheeks, Luna adds:

‘And my brother.’

Chapter 53

53

Quick glances back and forth between the colleagues in the room to confirm they really heard her right, that they’ve not misunderstood. No one speaks, no one dares to risk missing a word when Luna continues.

‘That’s the truth, Billy, we have the same father. I didn’t want you to know. I didn’t want to think about it myself, either, wanted to just forget what he did. And I would never have been able to seek you out without being reminded of him.’

Luna pauses and seems to steel herself.

‘So you’re right, Billy,’ she says. ‘I plead guilty. I could never love you. Everyone but you.’

*

Relief makes Karen clap a hand to her mouth. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees the tension in the room reflected in Karl’s face as the final video ends.

This time, she is the one who breaks the silence. Without asking Smeed, she takes charge.