Chapter 16

Buckingham Palace, January 1946

Elizabeth picks up Philip’s photograph as she has done so many times over the past two years. It is so long since she has seen him and tonight, at last, he is coming to supper.

Her heart is jerking high in her throat. Who is this man with a beard? What does she know of him, really? She has spent so long thinking about him. She has read and reread his letters, so she knows his father has died. She knows that while she has been waiting for him to come home, Philip has been to Ceylon and New Guinea. She knows he has rescued pilots from the shark-infested Java Sea, seen action again in Japanese islands, and has had nearly three months of shore leave in Australia while Whelp was refitted. He was on board the US flagship Missouri to witness the formal surrender by the Japanese.

She knows where he has been and how he has been and how he thinks, but she knows nothing of what he actually feels.

The letters that have arrived, boldly addressed to her at Buckingham Palace, are not love letters. They are friendly and chatty and entertaining, but Philip has always held himself back from committing feelings to paper.

But then, she has done the same, hasn’t she? She has had so little to hold on to. She has his photograph, and the memory of how he made her feel, of the blueness of his eyes, the direct gaze and the restless energy. It is not enough for her to make any assumptions.

Still, he is coming. In a few minutes she will know if her feelings for Philip are real or not

Elizabeth isn’t even sure which she wants to be true. Restlessly, she puts down the photo and goes over to the window to pull back the floral curtains and peer outside.

Surely he will be here soon?

What if he doesn’t come?

Outside, a fog has crept through the palace gates and is pressing against the windows. It is like a living thing, poking into crevices, probing for a way in. It smothers the yellow light from the lampposts and muffles sound. She stands at the window and rests a hand against the pane. The blank, silent world is the opposite of the joyous celebration of VE Day and, three months later, VJ Day, when she and Margaret once again slipped out into the streets to join in the fun.

Since then, there has been little fun. The country is in survival mode. Rationing is more severe than ever, and the winter has been brutal. There is no more of the rugged defiance that got them through the war. Now it is about endurance and the long slog back to prosperity.

For Elizabeth it has been about waiting. Oh, she has been taking on some new duties to help the King, and there have been visits to Balmoral and Sandringham and parties and dances to attend, but she has been going through the motions until Philip comes home.