The cartoon penguin was staring me down. I really wanted to just turn and go. But I reminded myself: Alex, this afternoon you trekked nineteen miles to a Planned Parenthood with a girl who thinks ‘Spermicide’ is Spider-Man’s evil twin brother. This whole thing is bigger than just you.

I sucked it up. I took a deep breath and I knocked.

When the door opened, Katie Casey’s freckled face lit up with a huge smile.

‘Alex!’ she trilled. ‘What a nice surprise! Here, come in!’

‘No,’ I said quickly. If I didn’t ask her immediately, I’d lose my nerve. Plus, I was pretty sure that cartoon penguin was covering the entrance to a hellmouth.

‘I don’t have a lot of time, but I wanted to ask you something important.’ I took a deep breath and spat the whole thing out quickly. ‘I wanted to ask if you were still okay with doing The Vagina Monologues as part of the Save Your Heart thing. Because, if you are … I want to do it.’

Katie Casey’s smile deepened, dimples showing in her freckled cheeks.

‘Of course!’ she chirped. ‘I’d love it! We’ll actually be talking about the festival at our meeting tomorrow, in the health classroom at four. Can you come?’

I nodded, setting my jaw in determination. ‘I’ll be there.’

‘Great!’

I turned to go, but, just before Katie closed her cheerful door, I called out – ‘Hey, Katie?’

‘Yes?’

I swallowed the stubborn lump in my throat. ‘Thanks.’

The next afternoon, as I turned the corner in the science building, I saw Pat strolling down the hallway with his duffel bag slung over his shoulder.

‘I heard the good news!’ he greeted me. ‘Save Your Heart presents The Vagina Monologues.’

That smug smirk curled up the side of his mouth, and I could tell from the twinkle in his eyes under his shaggy bangs that he had most definitely played matchmaker between me and Katie Casey to fuck with me. And honestly I was kinda impressed. Not that I would ever tell him that.

‘You surprise me, San Francisco,’ he continued. ‘I gotta say, you’re a bigger person than I thought.’

‘I am a big person,’ I snapped. ‘I am a HUGE person. I will have you know, I saved a girl’s life this week.’

‘Oh yeah? What happened to her?’

‘She had sex with a balloon.’

Pat burst out laughing.

‘Shut up!’ I told him. ‘That’s serious! She could have gotten, like, exploding helium uterus!’

‘Well, in that case, I’m glad you were there. And, if my bringing you and Katie Casey together can prevent one single future case of exploding helium uterus, I’m honored to be part of such a noble cause.’