‘Hey!’ my father cautioned me. ‘With all the Pilates your mom does, she’d be able to lift a truck off you in a heartbeat, believe me.’

‘Whatever. What’s the deal? What did Father Hughes say?’

But my dad was distracted. Strolling over to the windows, he looked down at the quad, smiling.

‘Don’t you love these summer days before classes start? I remember some killer Frisbee games with the guys from the dorm.’

He turned back to me more earnestly. ‘Ya know, Al, the friends you make at boarding school are friends for life. It’s an amazing bond. They will always have your back.’

I rolled my eyes again. More of my dad’s stellar advice, like the day I got my first period, when he took me out for ice cream and, apparently thinking I was an adult now, started giving me stock tips.

‘Did I ever tell you about the secret tunnels?’ he asked.

‘There’s no secret underground tunnel network at St Mary’s,’ I said, and not for the first time. My dad had tried this urban legend with me before. ‘Look, what’s the deal? Can we go now?’

He checked his Rolex. ‘I wish we had time to hang, but I’ve got an investors’ meeting in Tempe, and I’ve gotta catch the next flight.’

‘That’s okay,’ I said. ‘I can be ready super fast. I’ll just throw all my stuff in a duffel bag. Or Mary Kate can pack it up and ship it. Let’s go!’

‘Alex.’ My dad was serious now. ‘You’re staying.’

My stomach sank. ‘WHAT?’

‘Honestly, Father Hughes wasn’t sure if St Mary’s was the right fit for you anymore. That’s why he asked me to come. But I think you can do really well here, and I asked him to let you stay – as a personal favor.’

‘Those are the kind of personal favors you ask for? Keeping your daughter locked up in Catholic prison two thousand miles away?’ My throat was tight, and I was fighting not to cry.

‘Look,’ my dad said softly, ‘I know you’re not … super stoked to be here.’

Wow, Silicon Valley Ken, props for recognizing a human emotion.

‘But your mother and I really believe this place will be good for you. So you’re staying and you’re seeing this through and you’re getting a St Mary’s diploma. In this family, we finish what we start.’

Says the divorced dude who did CrossFit for approximately six days.

He kissed my hair quickly and said, ‘I’ve gotta run to the airport or I’ll be late. But we’ll see each other soon. It’ll be Christmas before you know it!’