For a moment, our eyes met, both narrowing in the bright sunlight of the quad.

Then she said, ‘Sure!’ And she took the pen and signed.

See? Mary Kate mouthed over her head.

Yeah, yeah, I know what you’re thinking – This girl seems really nice! I would totally buy Santa Claus wrapping paper from her – or elect her as a benevolent dictator! I mean, the world today needs strong leadership, right?

But I was suspicious. There was a reason she was using our actual club name instead of referring to us as those lesbians in the basement like everyone else did. The girl had an ulterior motive.

‘You know,’ she said thoughtfully, peeling the plastic wrap off her cupcake tray, ‘we should collaborate on something this year. I think Save Your Heart and the Feminist Club could do something really amazing together. I mean, so many of our concerns overlap – we’re both mostly female clubs talking about sexuality and choices …’

‘I actually think we have pretty different takes on a lot of issues,’ I said. ‘Like choices, for example. Because we’re – you know – pro-choice.’

‘Right!’ she chirped. ‘But there’s definitely common ground there. Like, for example, we were brainstorming this whole weekend festival – maybe you guys could get involved? It’s all about sisterhood –’

I cut her off. The last thing I needed to hear about was one of Katie’s knit-your-own-chastity-belt craftathons. And how dare she compare her little cult to my Feminist Club?

‘No, thank you,’ I said clearly. ‘We’re focused on our own projects.’

‘Okay! No worries!’ Katie Casey responded, undaunted. She held up her cupcake tray. ‘Want one? They’re red velvet!’

Honestly, her cupcakes looked friggin’ amazing. But, up close, I saw they were decorated with crosses. Crosses made of white-chocolate chips, but crosses nonetheless.

Mary Kate graciously accepted one and took a big bite. ‘Mmmm, cream-cheese frosting.’ She made pointed eye contact with me to rub it in. ‘This is delicious.’

But I would not eat those Virgin Cupcakes. It was a matter of principle. Sometimes you have to sacrifice a sugar rush to stick it to a misogynistic society.

And there was no way in glitter-covered hell Katie Casey would ever get involved with the Feminist Club.

‘Support The Vagina Monologues! Stand up for free speech and sexual equality at St Mary’s!’ I was shouting.

‘Join Save Your Heart! Experience friendship and fellowship, and dedicate your purity to the Lord!’ Katie Casey was chirping.

‘Wow, Finland! What an interesting place! What is the social and political history of the country like?’ Mary Kate was gushing in fascination. (She was talking to the cute, big-eared kid from Model UN.)