I pushed and bobbed and weaved and briefly considered squatting to crawl through the legs of the girl in front of me and tunnel to freedom. But I was stuck – wedged in a bottleneck, crammed in a crush of sticky bare arms that smelled like sweat and Axe body spray.

But somehow Mary Kate had wormed her forceful little way through the mass of disheveled sinners, because out of nowhere she popped up in front of me in an advanced state of panic, with eyes as big as an anime character’s.

She blurted out, ‘I think John is DEAD!’

‘What?’ I said. ‘What happened?’

‘John who?’ came a voice from behind us. It was Pat Number Three, who thanks to the zombie crush was still right behind me, and was now sticking his cute dumb nose in our business.

‘Theology John!’ Mary Kate shouted at him in frustration, then turned back to me. ‘I lost him when the lights went out! We were supposed to meet by the snack table, remember? But, when I went over, he was lying behind the table, passed out!’

‘Well, it’s Theology John,’ I said. ‘Wait three days, he’ll probably come back to life.’

‘ALEX! I’m serious!’

‘Hold up,’ Pat intervened. ‘Is this John O’Connell we’re talking about? Junior? Tall, kinda boring?’

‘Yes!’ shouted Mary Kate, who was yelling everything impatiently in her panic.

‘Oh yeah, I know him.’

‘What do you know about him?’ my room-mate demanded.

‘He lives in my dorm. And I’m not too surprised he passed out.’

‘Does he drink a lot?’ Mary Kate frowned suspiciously.

‘Nah. He probably drank tonight because he’s super shy around girls.’

‘Aw!’ She clasped her hands to her chest in adoration.

‘But, every time he has one drink, he either pukes or passes out.’

‘Oh my gosh!’ She whipped her head towards me in alarm. Damn, this really was an emotional roller coaster for the girl.

‘Of course,’ Pat continued, ‘I could go help him …’

‘Yes! Yes!’

Pat looked at me and grinned slyly. ‘For your room-mate’s number.’

‘What?’ I said. ‘No way!’

‘ALEX!’ Mary Kate shrieked. ‘HE COULD ACTUALLY DIE!’

‘Okay, fine!’ I said, just to calm her down. Pat tossed me his phone and I put my number in, grumbling, ‘I can’t believe I’m giving a hockey player my number.’

I threw the phone back at him, kinda hard, but he caught it easily with one hand as he reassured Mary Kate.

‘He’ll be fine. I’ll get him back to the dorm.’

With that, Hockey Player Pat was off, weaving easily between the tight-packed groups of people and even leap-frogging over a dude’s back.

‘See ya, Alex!’ he called back over his shoulder.

I shouted back, ‘What was your name again?’ hoping my sarcasm resonated even over a mob of the horny undead.