Mary Kate was sitting up straight, with her hair in a big bun right on top of her head. The bun she’d started doing during finals, claiming she didn’t have time for braids, but I think in reality she liked the three inches it added to her height. Now that she’d told off the entire student body, everyone on campus was a little bit scared of her, and I think she liked that, too. She was walking around all sassy these days, with her shoulders thrown back and that big bun bobbing on her head, like a Russian gymnast who’d just done an illegal triple-flip dismount off the balance beam and was daring anyone to accuse her of using steroids.

I knew she had changed, but even I was surprised when she declared: ‘I don’t want to put on some watered-down version of this play. We need to put on The Vagina Monologues.’

‘WHAT?’ I couldn’t believe my ears.

‘This is the Feminist Club, and The Vagina Monologues is a feminist play. We’ve been working on it for months now, and next semester it’s time to actually do it.’

I was staring at her in disbelief, shaking my head. Clearly, an alien had possessed her body, right? That would explain the bun – to hide the space antennae.

‘At the beginning of the semester,’ she continued, ‘Alex made a vow. She vowed to stage the first-ever St Mary’s Catholic School production of The Vagina Monologues. Semester vows are very important,’ she added, wincing a little.

I sighed. ‘Look, I obviously think it’s a good idea. It was my idea. But we already tried it, and it didn’t work.’ I paused and looked across the table. ‘What do you think, Ms Chan?’

She considered. ‘I do love the show. I did the Monologues when I was in grad school in Seattle. It is usually for older students …’ She leaned back in her chair and crossed her legs. ‘But we could try some kind of compromise. What if we performed off-campus? Or for juniors and seniors only? Or got permission slips from parents? I think, if we all put our heads together, we can make it happen.’

Everyone in the packed room nodded.

‘All right then!’ I said. ‘So, next semester, we’re gonna …’ Looking down at the list, I summarized: ‘Rectify the gender-binary bias in campus housing, enforce equal treatment in varsity sports, revamp the St Mary’s sex-ed curriculum and student-health resources, and – finally, at long last, for real this time – produce “St Mary’s Catholic School presents The Vagina Monologues.” What do we think?’

Everyone nodded. Preeti gave a little cheer. The Rowers clapped.

Ms Chan interrupted. ‘Before any of that,’ she said sternly, ‘there’s something important I need to address.’

Shit. I knew she was a spy!