Unfortunately, it wasn’t. The student center is always crowded the hour before curfew. Tonight, there were the usual people on laptops, people trying to study but really eavesdropping on other people’s conversations, and freshman boys throwing Flamin’ Hot Cheetos. But there was also a noticeable number of adorable couples adorable-ing all over the place. Two seniors were splitting a Kit-Kat. In a corner booth, a sophomore boy and giggly girl were taking kissy selfies. And, when we got in line for the hot-dog cart, we ended up behind the grossest couple in the world – HardBurn, a.k.a. Izzie Harding, and T. J. Burns, fellow juniors we hate who started dating after he landed on top of her in a human pyramid collapse. The whole time we were in the quarter-dog line, they wouldn’t stop giving each other butterfly kisses, Eskimo kisses and any other kind of politically incorrect kisses they could think of. Seriously. When they stepped up to the cart, they even ordered together:

‘We’re just gonna share one, please.’

‘Half ketchup …’

‘… and half mustard!’

And then burst into a gale of murder-inspiring giggles.

Mary Kate glared at me. I. Told. You, she mouthed.

We each got two hot dogs with extra onions (‘See?’ I told Mary Kate. ‘It’s good we’re not making out with anyone tonight.’) and found a table. In between big bites, I tried to reassure Mary Kate about being single, especially after the Kit-Kat couple walked past with a milkshake and two straws.

‘I bet most of these people don’t even like each other,’ I said. ‘It’s just this whole Catholic pairing-off mentality. I mean, you read a kid enough Noah’s Ark picture books growing up and they start feeling like they’re a freak show if they’re not paw in paw with another aardvark or anteater or whatever.’

Mary Kate wrinkled her nose. ‘Are you talking about me? Am I an aardvark or anteater or whatever? Seriously? That’s the kind of animal I’d be?’

‘No, that was just a general statement. You would definitely be one of Taylor Swift’s cats.’

Mary Kate lit up. ‘Ooh! Which one? Oh, it doesn’t even matter, they’re both adorable.’

That may have mollified her a bit because we chewed in companionable silence for a few minutes. Sure, we had been screaming at each other less than a half-hour ago, but our relationship had always been like that, ever since we met and bonded instantly during a traumatic freshman dodgeball game. And, by the time we’d finished our first hot dog, she was taking a logical view of her singledom.

‘I mean, I understand why I never had a boyfriend before St Mary’s. I went to an all-girls’ school; I only have sisters and girl cousins; I didn’t know any boys. And I was only in eighth grade. Plus, I used to let my mom cut my bangs.’