I spent Thanksgiving break catching up on physics labs, watching trashy reality TV and eating dining-hall turkey with exchange students from Chile, and by the time Mary Kate got back we were in the last weeks of the semester. Seniors were running around, freaking out about college applications, and that whole strange, snowy night The Non-Vagina Monologues never happened might have been forgotten – except there was one very interesting result, one very important consequence whose revelation would rock the whole campus: the Toothless Beast announced he was coming to St Mary’s.

The news broke Monday when I was waiting in line for the new candy-cane mocha at the coffee shop. Suddenly a sophomore in glasses streaked through the student center, holding a school newspaper above his head and shouting, ‘Breaking news! Breaking news! THE TOOTHLESS BEAST IS COMING TO ST MARY’S!’

The whole place erupted in cheers. Preeti from the dorm happened to be behind me and she grabbed my arm.

‘Oh my God!’ she said. ‘Mary Kate! I bet he’s coming because of Mary Kate!’

‘What?’ I said. ‘You know about that?’

Preeti rolled her eyes. ‘Everyone knows about that, Alex. A bazillion people at the recruit party saw them leave together. And a bunch of people saw them sneak out after curfew, too.’

‘So?’

‘So … he comes to St Mary’s, goes to a party full of pretty girls, leaves with Mary Kate and boom! He’s on our team.’

I bolted. I pushed my way through the cheering crowd to the exit. I ran straight back to our dorm and burst in the door.

‘Did you hear?’ I blurted out, breathless. ‘He’s coming to St Mary’s! The Toothless Beast! DOM!’

Mary Kate was at her desk studying. Her crutches were leaning against the dresser and there was a bottle of ibuprofen next to her textbook. She glanced up briefly but avoided my eyes. Her lips tightened into a perfectly straight line.

‘Oh,’ she said. ‘That’s nice.’

It had been three days since she’d returned to school, and Mary Kate still hadn’t told me what had happened between her and the Toothless Beast. To be fair, she’d been dealing with a painful injury and the subsequent realization while using crutches in the snow that disabled access at St Mary’s sucks as much as everything else at this school. That’s why I hadn’t pushed her. I hadn’t even said the guy’s name. But it had taken a lot of willpower because three days is like an entire friggin’ Neptune year when you’re waiting for hook-up gossip.