‘Are you serious?’ he asks, incredulous. ‘You’ve not even been here an hour and you’re off again?’

‘You got what you wanted, didn’t you?’ I ask him.

‘You’re a total bitch at times, Ingrid,’ he says.

‘Maybe. But I’m also right. Look, I’ll wait for the taxi at the bottom of the street.’

‘But it’s lashing it down.’

‘I’m not made of sugar and I won’t melt,’ I tell him as I put my coat back on and lift my bag. ‘Thanks for the wine.’

I hear him swear as I pull closed the front door, but I walk on anyway. When the taxi pulls up, not only am I soaking, but I’m also shaking again – a mixture of anger, fear and exhaustion coursing through my veins. I don’t want to go home. Not tonight. Not in the dark. But nor do I want to land on the doorstep of family or friends. I don’t want to answer questions.

I ask the driver to drop me off at the Maldron Hotel in the city centre, praying they aren’t fully booked. I’ll deal with everything else in the morning.

I toss and turn. My head is too full to allow me to sleep, even in the comfort of a super king-size bed. I’m not sure what I should do next. Clear up the mess in my flat? Add some more security measures? Look for somewhere new to live? None of the options are ideal. Some are not even possible. I can’t add to the communal security of the block, and I sure as hell can’t afford to move right now.

Massaging my temples and giving up on sleep, I accept that I really shouldn’t waste any more time before I call the police. I should’ve called them straight away. No doubt they’ll ask all sorts of questions about why I didn’t, about where I went instead. I’ll have to lie. Fuck. I can’t have them landing at Ryan’s door asking questions. What if Jen is back?

What will Ryan say if he finds out the real reason for my unexpected visit?

I sit up, make a cup of tea in the hotel room, trying not to think about all those stories that fly around the Internet about people boiling their underwear in hotel kettles.

I run the power shower, stand under the pulsing stream, grateful beyond words to feel the thrum of the water pummel my skin and reinvigorate me.