Leah waved her explanations away. “Do not apologize. I’m the one who is stealing your precious Rollerblading time. It was very good of you. I would never have asked unless it…” Her voice trailed off.

Shoshana looked at her searchingly as she shrugged off her coat. “Spill.”

Leah swallowed. Could she? Would she? She thought of Chasya holding her stomach and Mordechai Shalom’s tears. She had prayed, and now she had to do the work. Hishtadlus, it was called. You prayed, but then it was incumbent upon you to make every effort humanly possible to solve your own problems. Only then would God intervene to help.

“Shoshana, I’m struggling. I don’t know how much longer I can go on.”

Her friend reached across the table, taking Leah’s hand in both her own. She was shocked. “But I thought you were so happy! That you and Yaakov … the children … that it was everything you ever dreamed of. What’s happened?”

“Nothing … everything. I am happier than I have ever been in my life and more in love with the man I married than I ever dreamed possible. He is the best person … the most loving partner, father…” She choked, the tears rolling down her cheeks shamelessly, the floodgates opening. She tried to stop, taking the tissue hurriedly offered by her friend and blowing her nose as she wiped her eyes on her sleeves.

“Yes, you look ecstatic,” Shoshana drawled, which just started Leah off again. “Okay, okay. Sorry. We’ll be serious now.” She waited for a few moments until Leah was able to compose herself, the appearance of a waitress with notepad in hand speeding up the process.

“I’ll have a latte with soy milk and a butter croissant,” Shoshana told the girl, who was trying not to stare as Leah dabbed her eyes and straightened her tichel. “What do you want, Leah?”

But she couldn’t speak.

“She’ll have an almond croissant and a cup of green tea. Jasmine, if you have it.” Shoshana turned her attention back to Leah. “Is that okay?”

Leah nodded.

The girl disappeared.

“I’m sorry. I … I just have no one to talk to about these things.”

“What things?”

Leah took a deep breath. “Taharas hamishpacha.”

Shoshana leaned back. Family purity, the umbrella term for everything relating to sex. Of course. What else? The one thing you could never bring up with your sex partner! So ridiculous. But she tried to be kind. “I’m a little surprised, Leah. I expected you to have problems, but I thought it would be all the housework and childcare being dumped on you, in addition to developing your business and paying the bills—”

“Yaakov started working full-time!” She felt compelled to interrupt, to defend him.

“You know I love Yaakov. He’s one of the good guys,” Shoshana placated. “But sex? Really?” She raised her eyebrows in amusement.

“What, because I wasn’t a virgin?”