He turned his back to her, stiffening. For the first time since falling in love and marrying her, Yaakov realized how much he didn’t know about this woman he had defied everyone to marry. What kind of things had she done as a young girl? And what kind of a mother could she be to his innocent young children?

Leah watched his back. In her heart, she felt the first fluttering of fear.

15

CONSEQUENCES

Shaindele would come home directly after school. This would be strictly monitored. If she wanted to go somewhere else, either Leah or Yaakov would have to check it out thoroughly in advance. She would write her school assignments in a special book, and this would be checked each night to see if they had been done. She would not be allowed to go out by herself to the store without either a parent or one of her siblings. Her time would be calculated to the minute. The list went on and on and on …

“Is all that really necessary, Yaakov?” Leah questioned. “After all, she seems really sorry. And nothing actually happened.”

His reply was stiff and formal, she thought, making it clear to her that this was not up for discussion. When he left for work, it was with none of the usual kindness and affection that accompanied his goodbyes. It was almost as if he considered this her fault! But what had she to do with the actions of a seventeen-year-old girl she had known barely two years? It was very unfair!

Still, whatever she might have felt, she passed over these decrees to Shaindele in her most draconian manner. To her surprise, the girl took it all meekly, almost relievedly. It was as if she’d been expecting the slash of a guillotine and had only gotten a paper cut.

Leah couldn’t understand it. She tried to think back to her own teenage years. Why, if her mother had tried to impose any of these restrictions on her, it would have been the French Revolution, complete with barricades and cannons! There would have been full-blown mayhem! As much as she had tried, as long as she had lived in this world, she just didn’t understand this girl, or the family dynamic, or this community. She found this not only sad but frightening. It made her feel as if she were living in a fog, judged by secret rules in a secret book that someone, somewhere, possessed but refused to let anyone—at least her—read.

A few days later, there was no sound from Shaindele’s room long after she should have been up and dressed for school.

Leah knocked on her door.

“Can I come in?”

When there was no reply, Leah opened the door. The girl was still in bed, the covers over her head. Leah sat down on the edge, reaching out to smooth back Shaindele’s hair, feeling her forehead. She seemed warm, but not feverish.