To the many beautiful brides that wrote in about this one: You are not the only one who has a mother or a future mother-in-law who wants to invite a few additional guests now that some of the invited guests have declined. This is classic MOB/MOG behavior. Shut it down with a simple no. As in, “All the invitations have been sent out. We won’t be sending out any more to anyone.” Practice this ten times in the mirror in a firm, full voice.

To the Left-Out MOG: Technically, you are not in the bridal party like the Mother of the Bride. That’s the protocol. MOB, yes. MOG, no. The bride has no obligation to include you in any little thing, never mind every little thing. Let her be the Bride and you get to be the wise gracious influence in her life. The good news is that if you behave with love and grace through the wedding planning and on the big day, the chances are much greater you’ll be a part of their lives going forward. But throwing a hissy fit (your words, not mine) to attend the final wedding dress fitting? It’s a tiny slice of the rest of your relationship. Let it go.

To the High and Mighty MOB (my words, not yours): You know who you are. You claim, in very demeaning language, the MOG has terrible taste and picked a dress that clashes with yours for the wedding. You insist the Bride has been trashing the dress behind the MOG’s back but won’t tell the MOG to her face. Should you step in? Absolutely not. This isn’t your wedding. You know that, right? Here’s the truth: After the first ten seconds of the ceremony when the MOG walks down the aisle before the music starts, no one will pay attention to what she is wearing. (Photoshop can fix the photos.) The Bride is the star of the day. The rest of you, merely supporting players. Even you, High and Mighty MOB.

Big Kiss & Wedding Bliss,

Your Aunt B

Chapter 32
The Arrivals

The Mother of the Bride