Cover

Dedication

For JCC

Who always had a cocktail napkin for every glass

Part One

From the Website of Dearly Beloveds and Betrotheds

From the Website of Dearly Beloveds and Betrotheds

Dear B & Bs . . .

As wedding season approaches and families are aflutter, it’s time for my annual column directed at Mothers of the Bride (MOBs) and Mothers of the Groom (MOGs). Think of this as the ultimate public service performed by your Aunt B. You’re so welcome. My goal is to make every wedding a joyous and heartfelt celebration, filled with goodwill toward all. Add in a few lovely touches, some good behavior, and plenty of cake and you have the makings of a memorable day. If you can just keep your mouth zipped about every little thing. In other words, pull it together for one single day, MOBs and MOGs, and everyone at the wedding will benefit. How hard could that be? As you know, my motto in all things is “Propriety first.”

I think of these nuggets of wisdom not as rules, but as wishes. My wishes for you, Mothers and Others who care, so you can be your best self throughout the process. But a gentle reminder that while my position has evolved over the past thirty years of writing about all aspects of matrimony, much as weddings themselves have evolved from a spectacle with well-known standards and traditions to a free-for-all of personal expression, one idea remains steadfast: Dear MOBs and MOGs, this is not your wedding.

Big Kiss & Wedding Bliss,

Your Aunt B

Chapter 1
The Call

The Mother of the Bride

“Mom! It’s me. It’s us. Sorry to call so early there. I have some news.”

News! Despite the early hour in Montecito, California, Alexa Diamandis was all ears. Could Penny be pregnant? Please, let it be that. “Give me two minutes. I need my coffee,” she said to her only daughter while positioning the tablet on a stand in the kitchen, as she did every morning to take video calls from all over the world. Her family lived in Greece. Her friends lived in England. And her business was travel. She was used to early-morning conversations in her small but airy California kitchen. It was why she rose at five most mornings and put on her face first thing, at least a modified version of her face. Moisturizer, a light coat of foundation, a swipe of mascara and lip gloss. She even had a rotating collection of velour tracksuits that worked well on camera, like the soft pink one she was wearing now. But first, coffee.