Like private clubs, hotels and resorts in the wedding biz know how to get the job done. They churn and burn big weddings, and some do it very, very well. At a top-notch hotel, you can feel like your event is unique, thanks to planning pros who know the best way to execute every aspect of the day, from the best spot for a “first look” photo to where to stage the sparkler gauntlet. Again, limited possibilities for personalization but endless possibilities to spend lots of money. Passed drinks before the ceremony! Specialty cocktails in the receiving line! Martini bars! Pre-ceremony coffee cart! Midnight burger bar after a full dinner and dancing! Late-night s’mores by the firepit as an after-party! Cha-CHING, cha-CHING. Still, happy guests and a short trip back to their rooms for the parents of the bride and groom.

• Museums, Libraries, Concert Halls, and Other Prestigious Locations

This is rarefied air here. And your Aunt B knows that while all her readers have impeccable taste, they do not all have impossibly large bank balances. No shame in not having the budget for a six-figure venue fee. Yes, I said six figures and a seat on the board to get married at the Met or the Art Institute or the Huntington. Let’s face it, if you are in the million-dollar-wedding category, you stopped reading this column when I mentioned the tired martini bar in the above paragraph.

• Wineries

Hit-or-miss location for me. Some of the loveliest weddings I’ve ever been to have occurred at stunning vineyards with a rustic elegant feel in Paso Robles, upstate New York, and the Willamette Valley in Oregon. Also, some of the hottest/wettest/coldest/smokiest weddings I’ve ever attended have been at vineyards, which are subject to the elements in a way that hotel or home ceremonies are not. On a perfect day, it’s a perfect place. But beware the weather and the fire season and make a Plan B. (And a Plan Bee because someone will get stung. I guarantee it.) Ditto this for farms, ranches, and orchards. So much dust.

Chapter 18
Venue Hunting

The Mother of the Bride
The Mother of the Groom

“Good morning, Ms. Diamandis! I’m Madison Meadows. I’ve heard so much about you!” said the young woman in the pink dress holding an iPad standing at her front door. “I’m so excited to be working on this wedding!” The last few words were sung rather than said. Alexa was suspicious of all this enthusiasm. Energy was one thing, but this was something else.

“Please, call me Alexa. Penny has told me all about you as well. It’s wonderful that the two of you connected through that sorority even though you’ve never met. Really extraordinary.” Penny had explained that she found Madison through her sorority directory.