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Back A Train to Moscow: A Novel Save as PDF
Chapters (59)
  1. TITLE PAGE
  2. COPYRIGHT PAGE
  3. DEDICATION
  4. CONTENTS
  5. ACT 1 IVANOVO
  6. 1
  7. 2
  8. 3
  9. 4
  10. 5
  11. 6
  12. 7
  13. 8
  14. 9
  15. 10
  16. 11
  17. 12
  18. 13
  19. 14
  20. 15
  21. 16
  22. 17
  23. ACT 2 MOSCOW
  24. 18
  25. 19
  26. 20
  27. 21
  28. 22
  29. 23
  30. 24
  31. 25
  32. 26
  33. 27
  34. ACT 3 LENINGRAD
  35. 28
  36. 29
  37. 30
  38. 31
  39. 32
  40. 33
  41. 34
  42. 35
  43. 36
  44. 37
  45. ACT 4 IVANOVO-LENINGRAD
  46. 38
  47. 39
  48. 40
  49. 41
  50. 42
  51. 43
  52. 44
  53. 45
  54. 46
  55. 47
  56. 48
  57. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  58. DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
  59. ABOUT THE AUTHOR

He pulls her in again, and she presses herself against him. They stay in this tight embrace for a minute, or maybe several minutes, just as they did when she last saw him in Ivanovo before she told him that she had to leave.

“What happened that you couldn’t tell me?” she asks when their bodies separate.

He looks away. “I still can’t tell you. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to tell you.”

She feels that the air in the room has lost its charge; it is already a room that belongs to the past, a room waiting for its next encounter, a room to be forgotten.

He leans forward, his elbows on his knees, and stares into the space in front of him. “You left.”

“I left to go to acting school,” she says. “You know I had to leave. I had no choice.”

He doesn’t move, and in the silence, she hears the blood simmering in her ears. “Things are changing in my life, and I have decisions to make,” he finally says and gets up. He stops by the window to peer outside and then turns to her. He is standing in a parallelogram of sunshine, and his face is dark because all the light is pooled behind him.

“I cannot marry an actress,” he says, looking at the floor. “It’s one of the Party’s strictest rules.”

This is so sudden, she is rendered mute. His words feel like a gut punch that has left her trying to catch a breath and find her balance.

“How do you know I would even consider marrying you?” she spits out when she is finally able to speak, a question that makes him wince. “How do you know I would consider marrying anyone?”

There is a sharp intake of breath, his mouth tensing around what he decides not to say. Instead he steps toward her and pulls her into his arms again. “I love you, Sashenka,” he mutters into her ear. “But there are things happening in my life that I cannot talk about, at least not now. Please try to understand.”

“I’m going to Riga in two days,” she whispers. “To film the rest of the movie.” She is glad he can’t see her face, her constricted mouth. They are at the door, still on this side, the side of what happened last night.

“I’ll write,” says Andrei and kisses her on the lips, a goodbye kiss. He opens the door, a suitcase in hand. “Do you need a ride back?”

She doesn’t.

“I love you,” he says and starts running down the stairs.

“I love you, too,” she says, but he is already two flights down.

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