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Back A Train to Moscow: A Novel Save as PDF
Chapters (59)
  1. TITLE PAGE
  2. COPYRIGHT PAGE
  3. DEDICATION
  4. CONTENTS
  5. ACT 1 IVANOVO
  6. 1
  7. 2
  8. 3
  9. 4
  10. 5
  11. 6
  12. 7
  13. 8
  14. 9
  15. 10
  16. 11
  17. 12
  18. 13
  19. 14
  20. 15
  21. 16
  22. 17
  23. ACT 2 MOSCOW
  24. 18
  25. 19
  26. 20
  27. 21
  28. 22
  29. 23
  30. 24
  31. 25
  32. 26
  33. 27
  34. ACT 3 LENINGRAD
  35. 28
  36. 29
  37. 30
  38. 31
  39. 32
  40. 33
  41. 34
  42. 35
  43. 36
  44. 37
  45. ACT 4 IVANOVO-LENINGRAD
  46. 38
  47. 39
  48. 40
  49. 41
  50. 42
  51. 43
  52. 44
  53. 45
  54. 46
  55. 47
  56. 48
  57. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  58. DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
  59. ABOUT THE AUTHOR

“I will arrange for you to go to America to see Kolya,” Andrei says. He is back to being practical, back to arranging things, something he does so well. Does he think that his arrangement of this impossible trip, which Sasha knows involves breaking Party rules, is the deed that will redeem him? Does he think that sending her across the ocean will give him hope for atonement? The idea of going to America sounds surreal, but not any more surreal than hearing Kolya’s voice on the phone a few hours ago, which now feels like a different life.

45

45

She wakes up at three in the morning and stares into the dark, the previous night—colossal, endless—immediately asserting itself in her mind, burning through the fog of sleep like the morning sun. The bitter taste of cognac still lingers in her mouth, little hammers of headache banging against the inside of her skull. The images rise impatiently, pushing against one another. Andrei’s graying hair, a phone receiver pressed to her ear, a white tablecloth full of stains.

This is Sasha’s final resolution, sealed by the darkness in her room: she will no longer allow herself to think about him. This time, at last, she will purge him like a deadly contagion; she will scoop him out, like Grandpa scoops dry their Ivanovo outhouse, bucket by bucket; she will rip him out of her heart, just as Masha tears out her love in The Seagull, by the roots.

She will no longer allow him to invade her mind. Instead, she will think about the place where Kolya lives, America. Sasha peers into the dusk, which has revealed the outlines of the table and the white panels of the door. Is it possible to conjure up something one knows nothing about? Here, on this side of the Iron Curtain, with no cracks to peek through, what do they know about America?