BooksBarbecue
Back A Train to Moscow: A Novel Save as PDF
Chapters (59)
  1. TITLE PAGE
  2. COPYRIGHT PAGE
  3. DEDICATION
  4. CONTENTS
  5. ACT 1 IVANOVO
  6. 1
  7. 2
  8. 3
  9. 4
  10. 5
  11. 6
  12. 7
  13. 8
  14. 9
  15. 10
  16. 11
  17. 12
  18. 13
  19. 14
  20. 15
  21. 16
  22. 17
  23. ACT 2 MOSCOW
  24. 18
  25. 19
  26. 20
  27. 21
  28. 22
  29. 23
  30. 24
  31. 25
  32. 26
  33. 27
  34. ACT 3 LENINGRAD
  35. 28
  36. 29
  37. 30
  38. 31
  39. 32
  40. 33
  41. 34
  42. 35
  43. 36
  44. 37
  45. ACT 4 IVANOVO-LENINGRAD
  46. 38
  47. 39
  48. 40
  49. 41
  50. 42
  51. 43
  52. 44
  53. 45
  54. 46
  55. 47
  56. 48
  57. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  58. DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
  59. ABOUT THE AUTHOR

They have two minutes until it whistles again, until the platform begins to sail away, until Sasha gets, with every moment, farther from life in Ivanovo and closer to Moscow. As she looks over her mother’s shoulder, she sees Andrei standing at the end of the platform. He appears and then vanishes in the clouds of steam rolling from the engine, almost a vision, if she believed in visions. She blinks to see if he is real, but from the stern look on her mother’s face, from the way she resolutely swipes a finger under her eyes and frowns, she knows that he is.

ACT 2 MOSCOW

ACT 2

MOSCOW

18

18

Sasha does not see her name on the admitted list at the Vakhtangov Drama School, and everything inside her begins to loosen and dissolve, her legs refusing to support her weight. She leans against the wall and breathes in and out, as her drama club leader has taught them, to keep upright, to keep thinking, to keep going on, but tears are already rising in her throat, choking her and drowning any protest to this hideous injustice. What does she do now? The question, like a hammer, strikes against her skull, reverberating with all the shameful and appalling answers. Will she now have to trudge back to Ivanovo, humiliated and defeated, just as her mother and grandfather hoped, the word talentless tattooed onto her forehead?

Sasha takes a deep breath and turns back to the two pages with twenty-five typed names clipped to the board. Her vision is blurry, but she stiffens her back and focuses on the middle part of the list, between the Ls and the Ns, where her name should be, willing with every fiber inside her to coax it out of nothingness and force it onto the page of the admitted. Then she closes her eyes and exhales. When she looks again, her name is on the list, between the Ls and the Ns. She screws her eyes shut again and presses her palms over her face in an effort to test the reality she seems to have warped, but every time she looks back, her name is still there, among the twenty-four others. Why didn’t she see it right away? A temporary blindness, most likely, the product of anxiety, a few nauseating minutes of stomach-churning dread.