Back A Train to Moscow: A Novel
Chapters (59)
  1. TITLE PAGE
  2. COPYRIGHT PAGE
  3. DEDICATION
  4. CONTENTS
  5. ACT 1 IVANOVO
  6. 1
  7. 2
  8. 3
  9. 4
  10. 5
  11. 6
  12. 7
  13. 8
  14. 9
  15. 10
  16. 11
  17. 12
  18. 13
  19. 14
  20. 15
  21. 16
  22. 17
  23. ACT 2 MOSCOW
  24. 18
  25. 19
  26. 20
  27. 21
  28. 22
  29. 23
  30. 24
  31. 25
  32. 26
  33. 27
  34. ACT 3 LENINGRAD
  35. 28
  36. 29
  37. 30
  38. 31
  39. 32
  40. 33
  41. 34
  42. 35
  43. 36
  44. 37
  45. ACT 4 IVANOVO-LENINGRAD
  46. 38
  47. 39
  48. 40
  49. 41
  50. 42
  51. 43
  52. 44
  53. 45
  54. 46
  55. 47
  56. 48
  57. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  58. DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
  59. ABOUT THE AUTHOR

The next rehearsal is for Lara’s story. The following is for Slava’s. At the fourth rehearsal, Elena Aleksandrovna talks about herself and her sixty years in the Theater. It is, surprisingly, a story of doubt, pain, and anguish rather than the story of success they read in their history book. Speaking about her constant struggle and a litany of losses, their mentor no longer seems an icon or a star. She sounds more like them, beginners, with her insecurity and apprehension and jokes betraying an ironic view of their craft.

“Do you want to know what acting really is?” she says as she describes her work in prerevolutionary Moscow. “Imagine you are bathing in a tub, with all your favorite oils and scrubs, and suddenly a tour group walks in.”

They giggle at the image of a tour group barging into a bathing ritual, and Sasha notes to herself that she would like to learn, although she’d never dare ask, about the un-Soviet oils and scrubs.

By the time their mentor is finished, her face darkens. She pauses and looks around, stopping her gaze at each one of them.

“Do you understand, children, where you are heading?” she asks in a grave voice. They don’t know if this is a rhetorical question, so the three of them remain silent. “Well, do you?”

Sasha thought she knew where she was heading—although lately she hasn’t been sure if she would end up on a stage in Moscow or an auditorium in Pinsk—but she senses that what Polevitskaya is about to utter is not what she wants to hear.

“Theater will rob you of everything,” she says. “Everything.” She looks at Lara and Sasha as if their faces were open books with their life stories, where she could already read the future. “You, girls, will never have a family. It will be replaced by Theater, which will always control you, like a jealous husband. Nothing else will ever matter to you but Theater. And then, in the end, when you’re old and sick, it will chew you up and spit you out. You will end up all alone, and there will be no one to so much as bring you a glass of water on your deathbed.” She gets up and walks toward the window, where her small figure is outlined by the last streaks of pale spring light. What she has just said, despite her conviction, sounds so melodramatic that Sasha has a suspicion she has just recited lines from one of her many roles.

For a few minutes, they sit in silence, and then they know their fourth rehearsal is over. The three of them get up and leave, quietly closing the door behind them because any sound would seem to devalue this bleak pronouncement of their future.