There was one more hurdle to jump: I had to retire. Being an actor meant kissing someone at some point in nearly every movie I did. There was no way I was going to kiss anyone without them knowing I had HIV, and once anyone knew, no one would want to kiss me. We both knew the risk of transfer that way was minute, but why would I dare take the gamble with someone else’s life—I’d already done that four times, and look at the consequences.

Besides, the last thing I wanted to do was spend my limited time on a set. I wanted to be with my family. Who knew how long I’d be here?

We told Todd and Zoe our plan over dinner one night. Sell the house, move to something smaller and cheaper but still close to Beverly Hills so my involvement with HAP wouldn’t be hindered, and we’d still be close to our friends. Most important, we didn’t want to pull completely out of the industry; we were too excited about the influence God was allowing us to have there.

“Only one hitch I can see,” Todd remarked.

I frowned, thinking we’d covered every imaginable base. “What?”

“Everyone will wonder why the sudden retirement. Granted you haven’t been in a film in a while, but you’re still a major force in the industry. People will question your motivation when you’re at the top of your game.”

This stopped conversation for a while; you could practically see the wheels turning as everyone considered the ramifications and how to avoid them.

Eventually I shrugged and said, “I have a family, I have more money than I could spend in a lifetime, and I need a change of pace. It’s an excuse few people will understand, but there’s nothing dodgy about it. And it’s 100 percent true. I’ve been doing this for sixteen years, and it’s old. I’ll jump in and do the occasional cameo now and then, just to keep up my profile, but no more leads and no more major works. I’m through with it.”

“I’ll drink to that!” Todd piped up with a goofy grin.

“As would I, if I could drink. Is it uncouth to toast with lemon water?”

Zoe chuckled. “Better get used to it.”

GRACE

WE SOLD THE HOUSE in less than a week and moved to Pasadena just after our anniversary. There was wild speculation as to why we’d downgraded so drastically, but we were old news within days. Jack didn’t officially voice his retirement, opting instead to simply stop taking parts. No one seemed to notice, and we were thankful for the chance to finally live a normal life.