Her body language said it all. She froze for just a second too long, her eyes wide in surprise; I could practically see the wheels turning in her head. Before she even opened her mouth I knew it was true. “You were!” I was laughing with astonishment, but anger was slowly seeping into my system. “I can’t believe it, you—”

“Stop it!” I’d never heard her scream like that before. She was crying, the covers pulled up around her shaking shoulders. “Stop it, just forget it,” she choked out between sobs. “I told you to drop it, why did you keep—I had no money, Jack, none. It was fast money and easy work on a big state campus in a huge city. Me and a couple other girls made a business out of it. That’s why I left, that’s why I didn’t graduate; I’d end up in classes with them, they’d whisper things when I walked by, it was a nightmare. It worked for a while, but I couldn’t do it anymore.

I was dumbstruck, sitting up against the wall and staring at her. Part of me wanted to rage at her, part of me wanted to gather her up in my arms and comfort her. Tenderness won out, and I pulled her to me and held her while she shook. “It’s okay, Dianne, its okay, I still love you, it’s okay … ” I wished I had a script; I had absolutely no idea what to say to her.

After a while she rolled off my lap and leaned against the wall next to me, staring down at her hands. When she started speaking, her voice was so quiet I could barely hear her. “I got tested last month, Jack. I do it every three months, just in case, you know? I went last month, and … ” She bit her lip and closed her eyes. “I’m sorry, Jack.”

My mind froze, rejecting the possibility behind her apology. “For what, Dianne?” I tried to hold her hand, but she pulled it away from me.

Finally she looked at me, her eyes still swimming in tears. “I got HIV.”

I shake my head. “So that’s the story.” I’ve heard about her death, of course, and the HIV but I’ve never heard anything specific. “What a shocker.”

Jack lets out a laugh. “That’s the understatement of the year.”