“I don’t want to cook; do you want to cook? Let’s go out somewhere.”

“Dianne, knock it off! What’s going on with you and Ty?”

“Nothing is going on, Jack; I don’t know why you’re so upset!”

“Look, I know how it works, okay? I know getting involved with someone in a scene can carry over to reality. But you have to be careful … ”

Dianne grabbed her purse and keys. “I need to eat. See you later.” And then she was gone.

I sat in my favorite recliner and stewed for a while, rather than go after her and apologize for overreacting. I mean, if it really was just a matter of her getting carried away in the scene, then it meant she didn’t really feel anything for him, right? So what was my problem?

Hindsight being 20/20 shows me that I was the king of envy and didn’t even know it. That scene with Ty and Dianne was just the start of it; it seemed like nearly every week there was someone or something threatening to take her from me—at least that’s how I saw it. Anything could set me off—even our director:

“Why did Carl want to talk to you?”

“Just some directional stuff, character stuff. Nothing big.”

“He couldn’t have talked about it on the set?”

“It wasn’t a two-minute discussion, Jack, it was some big-picture stuff; it took a while. Let’s do something tonight; want to rent a movie?” (It didn’t take me long to figure out Dianne was big into distracting people when they were angry.)

“Well if it wasn’t personal, then he wouldn’t have had to meet with you privately.”

“Let’s get something funny. That new Brice Thornton movie looks good.” (Dianne grabs her purse and keys and heads for the door; I continue to smolder.)

Or her career:

“You took the part?”

“It’s a great opportunity, Jack; it’s great exposure.”

“For what, your acting or your body?”

“Both. So?”

“You’ll have to move to New York, won’t you?”

“For a couple months, yeah. No big deal.”

“We’ll never see each other. How can you say you love me and then be okay with leaving for two months?”

“Get over it, Jack; people do it all the time.”

“Yeah, and how many of them do you know that stay faithful?” (Dianne busies herself with the mail; I try in vain to get her to answer.)

Even her friends:

“We’re just going to a movie and some club. I’ll be home by two, I promise.”

“LA isn’t safe at two in the morning.”

“LA isn’t safe ever, and you don’t seem to have a problem letting me go during the day.”

“You and Crystal and Julie have been going out all the time lately; do you like their company more than mine?”